It's damn near impossible to get anything done with a baby/ toddler. It's okay that the little stuff isn't getting done, that's not the priority right now. I'm sorry your partner doesnt sound very helpful at all. He needs to man up. This is a team event and he's not been on your team.
That sounds really difficult. I recommend therapy. I started shortly after my little one turned a year old, and I wish I had started a lot sooner.
The fact you are feeling this way tells me your an amazing mom. And I know it feels like the cards are stacked against you but don't forget to give yourself grace. You are healing mentally, physically and spiritually. All that matters is that u are there for your children the best way you possibly can be. If you have village reach out. And if you need to ignore that call ignore it. Play your favorite and heal. You got this .