Feeling rubbish :(

It’s completely normal to bang heads with your other half when a new baby is thrown into the mix! Don’t feel so hard on yourself, you’re doing the best you can mama 🫶🏻 sometimes men don’t understand the mental drain of being a mum as well as physical.. they forget that us mums don’t get that social interaction during the day or mental breather where as they leave go to work, socialise with work colleagues and don’t have a demanding baby that needs them every second of the day. But Yes I understand that they are also physically exhausted as well from working and I think to completely understand each others feelings communication and listening to each others feelings is key! because if you don’t respect each other’s different responsibilities and how hard it is for each other it’ll forever be a game of who does more x

You've just got to drive home to him that it's fucking hard! Yes, you may have visitors and eat cake and sit with a baby but that doesn't mean it's easy. He might work his 40 hours a week but you are 24/7, even when he helps with nights, his job is not 24/7, he leaves it at office (or wherever), your job is basically attached to you! It's hard for men to see past what seems to be you having a nice time and unfortunately you gotta fight/stand your corner. I remember it happened with my husband. Next time he's struggling with the baby and finds it hard for like 15/20 mins... Tell him to multiply that by 10 (at least). He needs to have a bit more empathy and realise it is tough becoming a mum and a dad, it's not necessarily harder for one more than another!

I don’t think men really get it - maybe next time when the baby is really hard to settle but you know nothing is wrong with them just pass the baby to your husband. Let him get a feel for how helpless you can feel when you can’t stop them crying then make it clear you deal with that day and night and do the housework on top and say would he like to swap with you for a day and then be told he’s not doing enough? Put him in your shoes even if it’s just for 10 minutes I’m sure he will get a better idea for how it is being solely responsible for the babies needs instead of being able to go where you want, when you want, how you want! Hope it gets better for you and you are definitely not over sensitive! X

It’s a lot easier to work away from home, even if you help with nights at the weekend, than being 24/7 with a crying baby (and then add a toddler and housework and cooking to the mix). And I say that as someone whose job is very stressful, but I still feel like I go to work for a break (I work one day a week but currently on maternity leave). I envy my husband having the mental break of going to work every day. I sometimes feel like my brain cells are dying when reading the same book for the 20th time to my toddler and breastfeeding the newborn at the same time. Or when they both are screaming for me at the same time. Also sleep deprivation and constant noise is a known form of torture. Having said that I feel privileged that I can afford to only work one day a week and be home with my children most of the time, because they’re only little once. But I’m just saying this because even though it’s worth it, it’s also the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I hate when someone says it’s easy

Thank you all so much for your reassurance, honestly I really needed to hear this tonight and you've made me feel a lot better. We are all doing such a tough job and it's nice to know that other people get it. Sending all you mamas love, we've got this and we're doing an amazing job no matter what other people think ❤️