Help and advice needed-Tantrums

Just wanted some advice in what I should do about my little boys tantrums. He isn't too bad generally with the odd one when he is told no however... he started swimming lessons a few weeks ago and every lesson is a battle. I personally think its really important that children learn to swim at an early age for safety reasons so he started when he turned 2. I go in with him as he is so young which is standard. He doesn't listen or follow any direction he just wants to play in the water and do his own thing. Full on tantrums in the water when he can't get his own way. All the other kids in the class are the same age and are really well behaved so not sure it's an age thing. He distrupts the lesson so much I'm wondering if carrying on with the lessons is the right thing to do?! I could try and change the place but I don't think that would help. Today's tantrum was honestly so bad in the changing room after (started when we got out the pool). The worse I've ever experienced. To the point that another mum asked if I needed help watching him whilst I got changed. I was so embarrassed and just feeling like a terrible mum. I declined her offer as I feel he just needs to learn he cannot get his own way all the time no matter how loud he screams. I did stay calm and just ignored him the best I could whilst getting him dressed and then myself. Once we were dressed he calmed down and was fine. Really just don't know what to do. It's been getting worse every time we go so now I'm dreading next week. Also want to be considerate of the other children trying to learn. I'm hoping the swim teacher doesn't kick us out but they haven't said anything as of yet. Bit of a long one so thanks for reading if you've got this far! Also to add I'm the only mum in the class the other kids are with their dads which I don't know if that makes a difference? His dad works every other Saturday and has body issues so doesn't want to be the one to take him swimming. Not sure if thisbbehaviour is just for my benefit?! 😢

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We haven't started lessons but we go regularly. I just make it fun for him and follow what he wants to do with a bit of kicking and learning to blow bubbles and float etc but also do lots of jumping in and splashing. I've always just focussed on him being confident in the water and he loves it. I don't think he'd like lessons much so will wait until he's a little older. I find having snacks when we're getting changed is a lifesaver, i get him dressed ignoring the tantrum then he sits quietly with a biscuit or something whilst I get dressed. I think all mums have been there as it's common they tantrum when they get out.

Oh I felt this with my eldest, she never did what she was “supposed to” in the lessons. I just reminded myself that at this stage it was all about getting comfortable and confident in the water so if she didn’t always follow the structure of the lesson that was ok. (The teacher actually encouraged this) second the comment about snacks when getting changed, she also liked having a book to flick through in the changing room to keep her busy. I do think it could be something to do with it being you as well, when I was heavily pregnant with her sister and then PP her grandad took her swimming and she actually behaved so much better for him than she ever did for me. My 2 year old has just started and she just goes with grandad, I didn’t even bother attempting it this time 😂 although her lessons are during the week when I’m at work so didn’t really have a choice anyway

At this age they have no impulse control, so cant control their behaviour and due to limited verbal communication (words, talking) they find it so hard to express themselves and what they need...I always think of it as my daughter having a hard time, not giving me a hard time. I didn't start my oldest with lesson until she was much older nearer 3 and intend to do the same this time around (shes 4 and half and can swim independently), at the minute I take my 2 year old Monthly just for fun and splashing etc. So she gets used to the water (don't take her more due to eczema)

Maybe it’s because the other children have been going longer? It’s a big adjustment to do something totally new. It’ll likely take a few weeks to settle in x

I’ve been taking my daughter to weekly swimming classes since 12 months old, she used to scream for months, crying when getting dressed afterwards (she used to get really cold) then one day she just stopped! Luckily she’s always liked the pool (give or take a few occasions 🤷🏼‍♀️) but what I would say is talk to the instructor cos they should give you advice. I’ve seen the instructor at my class tell parents to take a break and try again in another month or so. Sometimes a break is the best thing for them 🩷

Thanks everyone for your comments and advice! I think I'll persist for now with the terms I've paid for and then reassess x

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