Please don't feel badly about this! It's a HUGE change, especially with hormones and it will take time to adjust and work out your new normal. It's natural to feel a little bit resentful when you need time for you. Expressing and letting your partner feed might also help but it's up to you. Look after yourself first, you can't pour from an empty cup X
@Sarah I really do want to continue breastfeeding, he's doing really well on it and putting on lots of weight and is doing great. Even though its demanding its also so convenient if that makes sense. I don't know if I've just been pushing myself too much to do things and recovering from an emergency section too. But my husband is back at work tomorrow so then I won't have anything to do other than look after baby so hopefully I'll feel better x
I felt like this too, itās so demanding and it feels like all you are there for is to feed. I started pumping 1-2 time a day to give me a break and it has helped my mindset drastically x
@Imogen thanks Imogen I just thought I'd feel differently and just embrace the whole thingš x
@Hannah thanks Hannah, it's good to hear that it's not just me and your feeling better. I'll give it a try. When in the day do you tend to pump? X
I was in the same situation.. I got to three weeks breastfeeding and I was really struggling with my mental health and keeping it to myself and not letting anyone help.. baby definitely felt the stress from me and wouldn't latch correctly in the evening.. anyway we have been on bottles for the last three days and I feel a fog has lifted out of my head. Be kind to yourself mumma it's the hardest thing but you need to put yourself first to be able to look after your baby and to also enjoy your time off too. Xx
I am so here with you!! I am getting resentful and worked up every time that she needs a feed. Especially because I could feed for 20-40 minutes and sheāll wake and be so difficult to settle. Then only sleep for 1-2 hours. But I have given her a bottle of formula and she settles instantly and sleeps for 2-3. Itās such a hard decision and one I have been battling with Iām still so overwhelmed on what is ābestā
I find I get the most in the morning. I will do a feed and pump straight after when/if she settles. I do 15 minutes each side. My partner then does a feed of an evening so I can have a break and also so I know sheās definitely had enough before bed. I really did struggle as it felt, and does still feel sometimes that Iām just a milk machine and the only way I can soothe her is with the boob. They can smell it on us! Sometimes if itās a really bad day my partner will do 2 feeds and I would do an extra pump that day. You should try and pump whilst they are having the bottle but easier said than done!x
My baby is nearly 3 weeks old and I tried breast feeding for around a week but it really took a toll on me mentally & I couldn't stick it out. I didn't like the way it made me feel. Like you say very demanding. If breast feeding isn't working for you and your family that's ok! But also I've heard it gets better with breast feeding. For me I really like being able to share out the feeds with my partner and family when they visit it allows me to get on and do the jobs I otherwise wouldn't. All your feelings are very valid.
This is exactly the reason the express and couldnāt cope with constantly having my baby attached. It works well for me as others can help feed and I express every 5 hours so only have to get up one per night and can go out for periods of time. My little one is 2 weeks old too
I breastfed my first until just after her first birthday. Iām two weeks into breastfeeding this time round and forgot how demanding it is, especially with a toddler who wants my attention. Itās tough and Iāve had a few wobbles myself. Itās just getting through these first few weeks then they go longer between feeds and feed much quicker. I remember with my first, feeds were taking 40 mins at the start and a few months in were taking only 5 mins.
I could have written this myself š§” Iām struggling mentally with breastfeeding more than I ever anticipated - I donāt have solutions right now but Iām making more of an effort to speak to my partner about how Iām feeling and thatās helping. We are trying to give her a bottle of expressed milk once a day, which has eased a little pressure because at least I know she CAN take a bottle if needed, so it feels like less pressure on me.
Your life definitely won't continue the way it was but that's not a bad thing. Just think of it as your entering a new phase of life. Your priorities and even things your enjoy will change. Tbh I think you were out and about wayy too soon after a c section, I've had 3 and you deffo need more time to recover so try take it easy, especially now that your husband will be at work.
Breastfeeding gets so much easier too! With my first after a few weeks we settled into a rhythm and my little girl mostly fed at the exact same times every day (6am, 9am, 12pm, 3pm and 6pm) so you could plan for it. And they get better at waiting so you can flex it a little too.
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My 5 wk old breastfeeds between 20-23 times a day - I feel you! I canāt get in front with pumping so just one bottle a day for a break. Hoping things get easier so hang in there x
I felt like this first 2 weeks he was constantly feeding and I couldnāt do anything and I was shocked as I didnāt expect that! He also doesnāt sleep very much and cries a lot so I also have felt so much anxiety and resentment like you say. The feeding calmed down after 2 weeks though but I also decided to combi feed even just one to two bottles a day to give me a break and my LO is 4 weeks now and Iām trying to introduce more bottles as I feel I just donāt enjoy BF like I should and itās affecting me mentally.
I felt the same while I was breastfeeding, I honestly couldnāt fill my baby from breastfeeding so I started topping up with formula. Iām now combi feeding but I just express and formula feed, but he has much more formula than breast milk. He probably has 5oz of breast milk a day that Iāve pumped. I really had my heart set on breastfeeding but I was sitting there for 3 hours at a time feeding him and he was still hungry. I needed to get things done and physically didnāt have the time. We are both much happier now we are combi feeding and Iām trying not to let myself feel bad about it. Please donāt beat yourself up, it isnāt the be all and end all, and breastfeeding for 2 weeks is brilliant, well done x
Don't feel bad! It's completely normal to feel a bit resentful. I made the decision to stop breastfeeding at 2 weeks when I took the dog for a walk on my own and realised I didn't want to go home and have to breastfeed again. Switched to expressing and formula and I'm feeling so much more positive and close to my baby now. Plus having my husband share the feeding has massively helped! Good luck! Xxx
I feel the same and I'm bottle feeding formula, baby was in the NICU and on a feeding tube for a week so mentally I couldn't cope with breast feeding even though I had my heart set on it. I miss being able to sleep a full night, do housework whenever etc. It's a real 180 hange and a struggle to adapt.
Thankyou everyone, I really appreciate all your responses and it's good to know I'm not alone in this. I was really beating myself up and thinking there was something wrong with me because I don't think people often speak about this side, so I felt it was only me. I've just gotta realise that yes it is hard, but I have a beautiful newborn baby who needs me and all I need to do is feed him. I was worried about whether I'd bonded with him, but I think if I hadn't I wouldn't be so worried about this and I know bonding takes time too. My husband is back at work today so we will just be in the house feeding and spending time together and that'd okay. Thankyou xxx
Good luck for you today, youāve got this ! Xx
iām almost 3 weeks in and so far been EBF, itās extremely demanding and difficult at times. especially when all i want is a 10 minute shower to myself and it either gets cut short or i just never get it š youāre not alone!
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Remember how much you have been through to start with and how much your hormones are whizzing right now! Do you absolutely have your heart set on breast feeding? I did and I was heartbroken when I gave up but formula feeding has been so much better for my mental health. Youāre doing the best you can do and exactly what your baby needs!