Elective C-section?
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I was the same, terrified of natural birth because I was pregnant with a big baby. Opted for a C-Section and it took so much stress off of me knowing the date he was coming, knowing I wouldn’t have to worry about labour or him getting stuck during labour and having to go through the stress of an emergency C-Section. The team that did the section were amazing at explaining everything out as a first time Mom, recovery is painful but it’s not as painful as I thought it would be, just ensure you stay on top of pain medication, have stool softeners on hand and lots and lots of rest.
@Lottie I think I’m scared of childbirth in general. I’m not super keen on either option but obviously, I have to deal with the fact that the baby has to come out one way or another. I think a long labour would be more traumatic and cause me more anxiety than if I knew I was going in for surgery and just allow the doctors to do the heavy lifting.
Have you spoken to your community midwife or a specialist mental health midwife about your worries and options? They can arrange for you to think these things through, do a more detailed birth preferences with you and a tour of the labour ward. I asked for a tour of labour ward and that helped me to feel better about birth (both vaginal delivery and c section). My baby is currently breech and so planned c section might end up being the birth I have. I'm trying to be pragmatic about both options.
Hi I’m the same as you as far as c-sections go but I’m 33 weeks. When you tell your doctors/midwife that you want a c section, be prepared for them to want to talk you out of it and if your mind goes blank when it comes to arguing your case like me, write down a list of why you’ve made the decision and be determined. I got given a leaflet about the pros and cons of caesarean and although there are a lot more mortality’s with a c section, 1 in 3 natural labours end in an emergency caesarean anyways it states, which is a big factor for me
I tried natural with my first and had to be induced. She came by EMCS at 42 weeks. My 4 hours in labour was nowhere near as bad as I expected it to be. Recovering from the c section on the other hand isn't fun. Getting out of bed wasn't easy, and I felt useless not being able to do much. My partner had to help me with so much. I am pregnant again, but I've opted for an elective for my own reasons, but recovery from a section will require you to have help around the home. You aren't allowed to do basically anything for 6 weeks. Can't carry anything heavier than your baby, no housework at all. No bending down for the washing machine or stretching to put plates away. No hoovering, either. You'll be surprised how much you use your stomach muscles for. But the main thing as everyone heals at different rates is listen to your body, and you'll know if you've done too much. You aren't meant to drive until 6 weeks after, as it can void your insurance. Travelling is down to you and when you feel well enough. X
I had 2 regular births after 2 c sections and I honestly prefer a normal birth… the first c section hurt alot the second not so much … but i will always remember the pain n the recovery was awful for me … the times i had the baby normal it was not as painful n the pain leaves as soon as the baby comes out… everyone is different
I would take weeks of my labour pains over thr weeks of pain I had recovering from my emergency c section. I just wanted to die at one point because I had, had enough of being in pain, I couldn't hold my baby without being in pain (make sure you have a feeding pillow to help keep them away from your incision).
I can only speak to elective c-sections of which I’ve had 2, the most recent one on the 4th July this year. Both were down purely to maternal choice and both were amazing experiences. They delivered exactly what I wanted which was something controlled, calm and with little left to chance. Recovery was amazing. I was up the same night for both, pain was totally manageable through ensuring I took my pain medication which are basically just over the counter pain killers. Was gong for walks within the week and able to do pretty much everything I was able to pre-section although obviously took things slowly, as I would presume I’d have to with a vaginal birth. People talk in absolute terms with the different birth options and I find it really frustrating. Good luck on your journey figuring out what works for you!
I really recommend trying to explore this fear with a mental health specialist!
I have to add that c-sections are different to each person, so many people will try and talk you out of it. A lot of people were shaming me for not wanting to do a natural birth due to fear but just ignore that. You can have a traumatic birth with a natural birth, I don’t believe one is worst then the other. I am happy I did what I wanted and ignored everyone. I was lifting and feeding my baby as soon as I got feeling back in my legs
@Lottie I’ve been in therapy in the past about numerous other related and unrelated things and to be completely honest, having scheduled meetings with a professional MH specialist once a week or whatever I feel will make my anxiety around childbirth worse. I feel it will be at the forefront of my mind at all times, I don’t think it’s helpful and I do need to function at work right now before I go on maternity leave. This is a very deep seated fear that I’ve had for a while and prevented me from becoming a mum for a long time. Now that I’m pregnant, I’m overjoyed at becoming a parent but just don’t feel the need to trigger myself over something that I have a choice over. It’s not the pain exactly - it’s the long build up, the dread, the not knowing, the possibility of an emergency c-section that I haven’t prepared for…etc.
Realistically, recovering from a major surgery will take longer than vaginal birth. I suggest to read as much as you can. I’m reading the latest version of Immaculate Deception and it’s great. Also scared of birth but know personally I don’t want a c section and that I’ll thank myself for going natural during recovery. Obviously my choice isn’t for everyone. But try to read books written by midwives as well, or speak to one and really weigh your options. Good luck!
I feel exactly the same! I'm 27 wks now but at my first midwife appt, was told 'you should look into hypno birthing'. She looked very confused when I said i will want a c-section! You do what's best for you, you know yourself and your brain best. I am scared shitless for pp depression and what not, I've always had struggles with my mental health as well. I'm sure we will both be excellent mums and we will just have to fight for what we really want hah
I think you should explore why you’re terrified of giving birth ‘naturally’. Being induced can be arranged for a specific date and any caesarean is generally done in under 2hrs unless there are complications. Recovery from birth, any birth, takes years, as recovery isn’t plain simple but you’d be able to return to work at 6 months if all was straight forward and you wanted to/had the support to. Pain can be well managed but it’s major abdominal surgery so it’ll take time to heal, as does tearing, but within 6 weeks you generally feel well enough! Travelling again will be dependant on type of birth and recently time. With either type of birth recovery is slow to begin with but you’ll be up on your feel within hours regardless and being mobile little and often after either birth benefits the healing process.