Sleep training obsession

This!! Firstly I know how hard the lack of sleep is, it’s so brutal and relentless, so I’m feeling for you there. 🤍 secondly, thank you for saying this! I’m so exhausted by seeing all these crazy sleep expectations for small babies and people are constantly like oh have you tried… I’m like of course I’ve tried everything haha it’s so important to remember that it’s so so normal for them not to be sleeping, they’re babies. It’s such a luck of the draw thing and it’s all temporary, they’ll sleep through eventually. (We bloody hope at least 🥴😅) I’m trying my best to just go with it now, I keep up with my bedtime routine etc and tell myself it’s just a phase 🥲🥲

Firstly don’t beat yourself up, you are doing the best you can. What time are you trying to get you LO to sleep, could it just be too early for them? My daughter doesn’t go down before 10pm and sometimes it’s 11pm, so when don’t start trying until we see some cues she is tired and it’s past 9pm. If it’s only 6.30/7.00, we know it’s just going to be a short nap, so we don’t get worried about it, we let her nap and know that the next time she’s sleepy it will be for the night. She normally then stays down until between 4-6am has another feed and goes back down for a few more hours. Also, they are bound to be dependent on you, they are still a really young baby, so don’t worry they will change in time x.

The internet's obsession with sleep training is largely down to Americans who have to go back to work so early! And also so sleep consultants can make money. Don't worry yourself, babies sleep will get better and worse repeatedly until they are older!

EXACTLY what @Emmo said. I’m on baby number 2. And the best advice I can give you is to lean into it, and go with the flow. I know that’s easier said than done, especially when your baby isn’t sleeping and you’re feeling like a zombie and all around you it seems like others are bragging about their babies sleeping through the night. Everything is a phase. You think things have settled down and then it all changes again. But things do get easier and eventually you look back and wonder why you spent quite so much time fretting.

@Liz oh my god yes, one more person that tells me their baby has been sleeping through since 8 weeks is going to tip me over the edge. I’m like wowwwww good for youuuu haha

Echoing all of the above comments really, each baby is different, they go through developments at different stages and although it’s super hard we just have to go with the flow until baby is in a proper routine by themselves on how much sleep they want at night to be able to get through a day. I have read sleep training is pointless until they’re about 6 months and into their own room/cot so don’t put pressure on yourself or baby to do that now. Also it depends on breastfeeding or formula feeding, formula fed babies sleep through the nights a lot more because formula fills them up more but the trouble is they can get over full that way so depends if you’re breastfeeding or not compared to those you’ve heard say their baby sleeps through the night. Most of ours don’t!

I think it’s also worth pointing out that “sleeping through” means different things to different people. I think the generally accepted definition is like a 6 hour stretch. My little girl goes down at 20:00 and often wakes around 03:00 - that’s 7 hours, so apparently that means she’s “sleeping through” but I do not consider myself to be “sleeping through the night” right now 😂

Also for what it’s worth, she wakes at 03:00 and often stays awake for 2-3 hours… I am certainly not about to be telling anyone she is sleeping through 😂

(She also often wakes at 23:00, and again at 01:00, and again at 03:00… you know the drill).

@Liz yep, my tracking app calls a 7 hour stretch sleeping through, which would be fine... If she didn't start at 8, I'm not going to bed at 8 though am I? 🥲