Really not coping

I don’t know what I aim to gain from this but I guess I just need to open up a little bit. My little one is 12.5 weeks old and she has never been a very settled or happy baby. In all honesty, the last 13 weeks have been the absolute hardest of my life and I have PPD. She’s had reflux since 3 weeks old and colic, and is suspected to have CMPA which she is trialling prescription milk for at the minute. Over the last couple of weeks, things got a little bit easier. She was waking up smiling, easier to settle, there finally felt like some light. Her crying went from around 8-10 hours a day to maybe 2-3 (amazing). She’s also been a brilliant sleeper since around 6 weeks old, sleeping about 8 hours from 9/10 weeks too. However, since Friday, things have taken a turn and I’ve had a full on meltdown today. She is now waking every 30 minutes of a night upset. Every minute she is awake during the day (which is constant as she refuses sleep) she is whaling at the top of her lungs. Screaming until her voice goes hoarse but yet continues. She won’t smile at all and is just so so upset. Today I have cried and cried and cried. I’m not sleeping and then I have hours and hours of screaming and I am so tired. We don’t have any support from family, the health visitors and doctors are both equally useless and telling me it’s a phase but offering no support. But I don’t see how I can continue with this. I can’t imagine it getting easier as I’ve been told since she was 3 weeks that it does at 12 weeks, and now we’re here it’s just getting worse. I feel like I’m a useless mum and now worried that I’m the worst person for this little human because I honestly can’t cope. I’m not naive, I knew this would be difficult, but this difficult just doesn’t seem right. I’m seeing everyone else’s babies and their milestones, but I just feel like mine is going backwards. 😪

Show your support

Sounds like you really need some support. Where are you based? There must be someone on here close by that could offer an ear and a cup of tea.

So sorry you feel this way. Where are you from? It’s definitely not easy and I experienced colic for what felt like AGES with my little one. She is 16weeks now and I feel like I am slowly and surely getting into a wee routine and slightly easier. It will get better I promise. Sending you lots of hugs feel free to msghinme if you want someone to talk to x

Oh I'm so sorry you are going through this it sounds tough! It is difficult and the crying is so so hard when you can't settle them. Do talk to friends and family see if they can pop by to offer support x

It sounds like you’re going through such an overwhelming and exhausting time, and I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. Being a new parent is tough enough without added challenges. Please know that you are not a useless mum. The fact that you’re so deeply worried and seeking help shows just how much you care about your little one. Babies can be incredibly difficult, and what you’re experiencing does not make you a failure—it just means you’re dealing with a particularly tough set of circumstances. It’s okay to feel frustrated and defeated, especially when it feels like there’s no immediate end in sight. The unpredictability of a baby’s behavior and health can be draining,And even though you’ve been told it’s a phase, that doesn’t make the day-to-day struggles any less real or painful. Reaching out is a big step, and you deserve to be heard and supported. I’m not sure where you are based but know you are not alone ❤️

Bless you both, that sounds so hard. She must be in so much discomfort and equally it’s really tough for you too. When my LO was being quite colicky I would take him and just go stand outside for a hit of cold fresh air and that would sometimes reset him. Also found wrapping my arms around under his armpits and lightly bouncing him facing outwards while walking around was more comfortable and enjoyable for him. Dancing fruit on YouTube was a lifesaver for a bit. We also switched from cows milk to goats milk formula. Still have constipation issues but the inconsolable crying has gotten better. Really feel for you and baby.

I feel you girl, mine is 16 weeks and it feels like things have gotten soooo much harder, he’s so fussy and crying all the time and the crying really grates on me because it’s more of his intense red face, stop breathing kind of cry - I feel shattered and overwhelmed all the time 😩

(Small practical suggestion in case useful - Worth giving baby probiotics if not already).

Really feel for you! I've been lucky and mine isn't particularly colicky or refluxy, but the last few nights she wailed on and off around 7-8pm and seemed in pain but it would stop if I laid her on her back and pushed her knees towards her chest back and forth, or if I held her. The other day she cried for an hour around lunch which is unusual. I got a tiny taster of what mums with reflux/colicky babies have to go through and I don't know how you do it! All ive heard from others in the past is to try goat's milk or omeprazole 🤷‍♀️ Where abouts are you? Xx

How amazing are you!!!! Honestly I have no idea how you've got up and gone through all that every day especially with PPD! You are a warrior woman! I wouldn't worry about milestones, but it sounds like LO is maybe going through a growth spurt? Which shows your baby is thriving. I've found that every time i think I've figured things out.... Bam nope!! Hang in there, you are doing amazing! Just remember one day at a time, sending big hugs xx

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌