Advice on nursery!

With my teacher hat on, it’s very normal. They’re still so little at 3.5 and they are still constantly learning. I am sure the nursery staff are keeping an eye and doing their best to model and correct the behaviour but they will need to be told 100000 x before it even starts to sink in. My LO is 2.5 and she is pushing/pulling etc even though I am intervening as soon as I see the behaviour and telling her “no thank you, that’s not nice/that makes our friends sad etc”. I think there are such high expectations of children at such a young age and we forget that it takes time. With my mum hat on, totally understand that you’re concerned and worried when she’s your baby! No harm in asking them to give you an update so you know what’s going on.

I’d be pretty upset to be honest. This may be an unpopular opinion but if they know a child has issues and attacks other babies they should be watched more carefully and ensure other children are safe. If they don’t have the capacity to do that, and the child is not learning right from wrong, then I feel the child isn’t ready for nursery. It’s not fair on the children who are being affected by this child’s behaviour although I understand it’s not the child’s fault - other children can’t be in the firing line.. I’d ask to speak to their parents if the nursery is unable to assist further.

Are they giving u an incident form each time something happens?

@Lena thank you and I completely do think it’s so normal and I also think wow they have 35 kids to look after all day how are they meant to know EVERYTHING that goes on. But it is just horrible to hear from Your kid that one other is constantly doing stuff to her!! I know obviously I am completely biased so I just like to have an outsiders opinion 😂 thank you very much x

@Parris that’s what I thought originally, because I mentioned it and they were like ‘yeah we know which kid you are talking about they are known to have behaviour issues’ so I felt like saying ‘well why are they allowed to be alone in the toilets with my little girl then?’ 😂 (she squirted her with water in the toilets) - I’m trying to put myself on the other parents foot but because my little girl is so timid I can’t understand why a kid would have it in for her!! I want my little girl to stand up for herself but she said she doesn’t want to get told off 😞

@Courtney I’ve had a couple of forms for random things but none for things this girl has done. I am also just having to go by what my little girl is telling me, and obviously taking it with a pinch of salt..!! But she isn’t one to lie!

So in my preschool when we had issues like this the child with behavioural needs would likely of been on a behaviour plan and would be being monitored and shadowed closely. If an incident occurs again, I would ask if the child is being shadowed and if not how they are going to prevent these reoccurring issues. It’s obviously going to happen every now and again, squabbles over toys etc but one child constantly hurting or having incidents isn’t “normal” and should be being monitored closely. I would feel the same as you even with my experience running a preschool if it was my child being hurt. Hope she’s okay xxx

If ur daughter is getting injured each time, then they should be giving u an incident/accident report. (I’ve been a manager of a nursery and parents should be informed) part of policy. I would ask them to inform u what’s happening and what they are doing to prevent it because u don’t want ur daughter to develop a fear of going into preschool. I’ve seen it happen before! U are well within ur right to feel how u do and staff have no right to shrug it off! At the end of the day, u are sending ur pride & joy to be looked after by “competent staff” who are there to keep her safe. Sometimes incidents aren’t preventable, depending on how many children, development issues etc - but if it’s reoccurring then I’d be concerned! X @Faye

Maybe request that your little one be separated specifically from this kid for a week so that the kid stops fixating on her, and she gets a chance to come out of her shell

I have no idea if it’s normal. I have a 9 month old and she’s my first

@Alicia it’s impossible in the UK if there isn’t another age appropriate room. Ratio here is 1:8 and staff have to maintain ratio to be in guidance with Ofsted (regulating body who deem children safe within the setting - nurseries & preschools have to meet a certain criteria to stay open and ratio is one of them)

The child with “behavioural issues” could have SEN. The 1:8 ratio may be adhered to, or they may be doing all they can to keep children safe whilst they are going for funding to staff it so the other child can be on a lower ratio. I hear it isn’t nice for your child to be hurt and you can ask if there has been any encounters that day (if there are incidents they will provide these to you anyway), but they might not be able to discuss the other child in detail

@Emilie thank you so much! I agree I thought they should be monitored but I don’t want to keep on at the staff when I know they are doing what they can. When I went to pick her up yesterday the teacher came out to see me and said ‘oh yeah she did hit her today but we did make sure she said sorry and then they played nicely together’ … she said it so casually so it made me think am I being over the top?! 😂 found it a bit strange and just hope it calms down soon as I don’t want her hating going!!

I don’t think it’s normal and I would try to sort it out with the nursery. All kids hit or get hit occasionally, and once in a while incidents over toys, etc, do happen. However, a repeated hit/pushing/squirting a bottle is another matter. If a child has special needs, they can go through a process where they get an individual worker who is looking after that child at all times and can help prevent physical response. You have every right to expect no repeated incidents for your daughter.

Thanks everyone!!! Really appreciate it 😊

I’d be kicking up a huge fuss. Tbh I’d ask my child what child was doing it and go and speak to the parent!!!!