Husband Argument

Ive been away lots- two hen weekends, one night for the Eras tour and a spa night away with the girls. I think its ridiculous to expect mothers to stay at home for years (unless they want to) whilst Dads can do whatever they want.

Sorry to say but your husband is bang out of order ... You deserve a break, time to recoup and come back energised. I've left my boy with my sister loads for over nights. You do what you need to do for your own well-being ... Both you and your LO will be better off for it.

My little girl has stayed at her grandparents a number of times since 3 months old and she’s been absolutely fine. It’s done me the world of good the odd night here and there. Being a parent is exhausting especially the primary caregiver there’s no off time, even when she’s sleeping I’m cleaning or prepping food etc so that night where I can have an early night and not have to worry about being mum does wonders for my mental health. I completely disagree with your husband I think he should encourage you to have some me time not make you feel bad about it. Out of curiosity has he ever done a full day and night alone with your little one? As in had to do everything? Because that is really eye opening especially at this age as it’s go go go. I would stand your ground if you can, you deserve to feel like you again and just switch off and rest. You can’t pour from an empty cup xx

I’m not personally ready to spend the night away from my baby, but if you’re ready and wanting to, there is literally no problem! You’re entitled to want your own time and space. He’s going to just have to suck it up.

I agree that he’s being out of line. One thing is his opinion you shouldn’t spend the night away- that’s one thing but the notion that you should ‘take it more seriously’ is really quite insulting! Of course it is hard for our partners too, being a good dad is bloody hard work, but just because you want to spend a night away doesn’t at all mean you’re not taking it seriously! Also as above- whether you’re back at work or not, it’s unlikely he’s had to do it for days on end at a time by himself, I think if he had he might understand how flipping hard it is! And a break away can be the best thing to recharge/refresh! X

I had a night away from my LB a few months ago, and it was really good to have a break, even if I did cry initially because I felt bad for leaving him. I take my LB to my sisters frequently as well, and although it's not the same as I'm in the same house, she has him overnight while I stay there, so I get some r&r! If you feel ready to go out then you should, you deserve a rest as well! X

I don’t think you’ll find a single mum who would disagree with you lovely. 11 months is a long time to not have a break and you deserve it. So far my little girl has stayed at her nanas for sleepovers 5 times, 4 of those were for weddings and one was a trial run in preparation for the first wedding. She slept over because it was unfair to pick her up on the way home when she would have already been settled in bed. Other than that I’ve had a night away for a hen do and one for my 30th and my partners been away abroad for a stag do. Our daughters happy and healthy and has secure attachments with me, my partner and her nana. A night away does not mean your not taking your role seriously or that your not putting your baby first either. We’ve also been on several family holidays and days out. It’s normal and healthy for everyone to have time for themselves and for mum and dad to have time together just the two of you too. I hope you manage to resolve it and find something that works for you

Our little boy has stayed with his grandparents lots and me and his dad went away for a week for our honeymoon also you will be better off for it I promise you it’s good to have some you time every now and again x

You have to do as you feel. I mean every mom is different. Personally I would do it but again this is me and if you feel that you can do it there is nothing wrong with it. At the end baby will be safe with their daddy

I haven't felt ready yet but my partner has said when I am he's more than happy to be in charge so other half needs to check himself xx

Thanks everyone for your comments, they are so appreciated ❤️ we have since talked it out some more and his resistance to it is basically down to him worrying about taking on all duties day and night, because he has never done it… ultimately he has to just get used to it. So I have a girls day/night scheduled for early December I CAN’T WAIT 🥳

What we really do need is a date night just us two but neither of us have family or friends nearby that can take on the babysitting at this stage 😓

I often spend nights away , my lo stays at nanny’s or my brothers with his gf atleast once a month since she was born and occasionally more than that, if you want to then you absolutely should you deserve a bit of you time , I struggle a lot and Becuase of my partners work hours he cannot do nights even on weekends so I often struggle a lot and it’s the only chance I get to have me time

Maybe look into a child minder , if you are worried about it being someone you don’t know you can always ask if they can do play dates or something involving you to start with and then slowly build the time up that said childminder would have lo , I’d suggest setting a specific date once or twice a month specifically for you and your partner maybe one night a month you go do your own things and the other date or both a date but it will be really good for both of you as you do need time to be yourself and your child building a bond with a new person is always good and could last for years and they will have someone they feel safe with other than you two

That’s great to hear! And is much more a valid argument than what he said lol. It IS exhausting doing it by yourself and I totally understand that it’s a daunting thought when you haven’t done it before. In the same boat here where we have no family or friends who can take him for a night, and it does put a huge strain on a relationship. I know it isn’t forever, and I obviously don’t begrudge it, but nobody can sit and say it isn’t really hard! You end up asking ‘permission’ from each other to do things, it’s tough!