Unequal share of labour

I'm really frustrated with my partner for his lack of efforts with our 4 month old. I'm about to go back to work in a month and I'm already stressing about having to work plus look after her all on my own. He works full time but is always leaving early to do whatever he wants. I've had so. Many. Conversations with him about how I'm feeling and tried to explain it that while yes he works, so am I, and he gets that but like you work 9-5 (is always late and always coming home early and mainly plays video games) but I'm working from the moment she gets up to the moment she's down for the night. I'm exhausted and sore and sometimes I can't even get him to look after her long enough for me to have a shower. He either just holds her and says what's up? And then puts her with her toys and goes back to what he wants to do or I tell him oh she's tired she needs to go down so he plays with her and winds her up more. Sometimes I feel like he is intentionally stretching it out until I'm out of the shower or I'm done doing chores and then hands her back to me and I've gotta put in extra effort to meet her needs. Does anyone have any advice? Cause I'm not joking, I've had so many conversations with him and I've been as blunt as possibly except for saying I will leave you if you don't get your stuff together

Show your support

I have the same problem. Atleast he cleans sometimes, is making the dishes, cooks or is doing the laundry. But in the situation with our daughter - no. I could never sleep a whole night like him or just a nap alone in the afternoon or just taking a shower or being outside whenever I want. It’s really tiring with men like this… I can just give you the advice to be more clear about that. Tell him that he’s not a babysitter, he wanted to become a father so he needs to take the same responsibility. If it’s not working tell him maybe you need to live alone so you are less stressed.

Would you say the video games is a problem? Playing every night or whenever he has any free time? The reason I ask is because my partner was addicted to playing video games. He literally had no time for family and would make every excuse under the sun to not get out of playing. (He has a very important match he cant miss or he has a planned game with the guys that's really important) Family time was half arsed. I took drastic measures after having conversation after conversation with him but nothing changing and left him. After 3 months, he promised to change and we got back together, he is a completely changed man that was 5 years ago. I'm not saying leave him, but sometimes they need a push or something drastic to happen for things to change.

We are very happy now. He's an amazing present husband and father xx

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