Partner debate
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His attitude stinks. Either he’s equal and pulls his weight, or you shouldn’t have to go back to work. Being a mum and a housewife is a full time job. If he wants you to go back to work full time, and he doesn’t want to do his bit, then he needs to hire a cleaner/housekeeper and nanny to help at home. You can’t be expected to do it all. Ask him when you get to have a break? If he really believes in equality, then he should be open to discussions about how to share the leisure time equally between you - however that means sharing chores and childcare. If he isn’t open to that discussion then that isn’t love or respect. That’s someone who views you as a servant to his needs only. This comic explains the toll this sort of attitude takes on women. It’s not ok. https://english.emmaclit.com/2017/05/20/you-shouldve-asked/
Sounds like he wants his cake and to eat it too. If he wants to be traditional then he shouldn't expect you to go back to work as what is traditional about that. Women traditionally stayed at home and looked after the kids and the house. I feel the decision to go back to work should be yours and he needs to have an equal share of helping out and you need time for yourself too. X
I'm crying right now. Girl, we've got the same plane. Right now I feel like my life became miserable. I gave up and sacrificed myself, my life, my job just to build a family but it turned out like it destroyed me. Got no family, got no friends, got no money, got no one but my little one. What's left is my lovely little love who keeps me going and hoping for the best of us. May you also find your peace of mind and genuine happiness.
Absolutely not! If he wants a 'traditional' setup then he needs to be the traditional provider and bring in enough income to allow you to stay home. I personally always want to work for various reasons but if a family decides it's best for one person to stay home then that's their business. Everyone is a consenting adult. But this dude can't have it both ways. He's essentially asking you to take on at least two jobs (working outside the home and taking full responsibility for work inside the home too) while he only does one job. He either needs to provide enough income for you to stay home and you'll look after the kids and the house (already kind of two jobs IMO as a housekeeper and nanny would be two different people), or step up and take on a fair share of the work in the home if you're also providing income. He's trying his luck and I would give him a flat out NO.
Sorry but I’m laughing at your partner, what a loser! Why not just be single, you’ll end up doing way less unpaid labour! Being a partner means an easier life for both of you, not just him. He’s justification is that he makes more then you, he’s saying he adds more value then you do! I bet he can’t even look after your child for a day, in other words the only thing of value he brings is money - which everyone can make. Not everyone has the capability of run a household and being a loving parent. I’d get him to pay child maintenance and be on my way! I’m unsure what advice to give because I actually cannot believe some men think like this!
So he wants it all without giving... So typical of lots of men nowadays. They expect you to bring money but they also expect you to do most or all domestic and parental labour. Don't let him fool you. If you want to go back at work, he will have to also do half of all the tasks. If he doesn't want it, you go to work and KEEP all your money for yourself (as savings). If he needs a maid he have to pay her. He sounds like a total jerk.
He sucks! It’s not fair.
He's being a selfish prick! I go back to work for 32hrs a week next year, my fiance works 40hrs, however he will absolutely help with nights (if still a requirement) when i go back, as he knows it would be massively unfair otherwise! Although, I've said I will take on more housework as I'll have an extra day off in the week
So by traditional he means he goes to work, which he’d do anyway even if he didn’t have you or a child, and he gets meals cooked, a child that he doesn’t have to take care of, his laundry done, his house cleaned, and a partner to go to, and you get….what exactly? All the things you’d do anyway if you were single plus extra chores for a person who treats you like a live in maid, cook, and babysitter? Im sorry, but absolutely not. You’re an equal person, not someone to push free labor onto that receives no respect. He needs to pull his weight.
What a pansy. Men want women to be a man and a women and still have the audacity to complain.
Bless you, I personally think he is being selfish. I dont believe in old traditions and think that both the Mum and Dad should want to be involved in looking after children and your house. Even if you didnt work there is nothing stopping him from helping out too. Id try and chat to him if you can and tell him how your feeling.