CHEATING HUSBAND

This is so awful i’m so sorry that must have been so crushing! My go to would generally be to say leave but it’s quite a unique circumstance as the physical cheating was 8 years ago and he has chosen to tell you about it all suggesting he has carried the guilt as a burden and wants to work through it with you. However, what he has done is despicable and keeping you in the dark, not letting you know what you were marrying etc isn’t fair and to have the audacity to have inappropriate conversations a year ago is beyond disrespectful. It sounds like he has some genuine issues he needs some serious therapy for. I’d recommend couples counselling so you don’t feel like you’re keeping his secrets and can work through your emotions about it all which might help you make your ultimate decision. Only you know what is going to be the best for your long term happiness, maybe you can work through it or maybe not which will be his fault not yours. Take your time to work out what is right for you x

Why is he saying something just now? Guilty conscience? Do you feel like this is something yall as a whole can overcome? Or you as an individual can forgive?

It’s so hard when they don’t respect you enough to tell you and wait so long after kids or marriage even, it’s beyond disrespectful to you and now your kind of forced to walk away or work through it, I wouldn’t blame you for staying if you guys considered counseling if he would do it? Someone also taught me to read up on body language to tell when someone is lying. It became super helpful, hard to throw in the towel when you have so much invested now but if he continued to maybe defiantly allow that to be the last time. Men suck, and they are so immature, it’s also like they are so desperate or miserable inside to go seek attention from another woman is gross but obviously he is extremely insecure about himself which must suck for him at the end of the day because any real genuine man who was happy with his life wouldn’t ruin it by cheating!! Ur a queen 👸 I dealt with something similar but mine came out after we had kids, now I can’t ever trust him. It’s really hard 🥺

I would say leave but I think that’s the ego talking. Sadly most men see it like they are single until they are married technically. He didn’t have to tell u that which shows he has a conscience and he feels bad which is good cus that means it most likely won’t happen again. I wouldn’t trust him so easy that’s for sure and I would deff make him know and feel ur hurt. it’ll take time rebuild trust but being a single mom and providing for ur kids is harder especially with the kids growing up in a broken family and actually having a bond with there father. I say give him the benefit of the doubt and if it happens again LEAVE. But this time check his Phone no privacy so he don’t think ur dumb and can get away w it again. Trust is earned never just given.

Give yourself time to process before you make a decision. Whatever you decide is right.

I couldn’t stay with a man who lied to me for that long? If he can do that to a woman he supposedly loves who knows what else he’s hiding? I couldnt trust him again

For all the shitty things he has done more than once this is so difficult and I'm sorry this has happened to you. I would hold on to the fact that it happened 8 years ago and he is a good man. I think I would struggle with the trust, he didn't tell you straight away and and it was more than 1 betrayal. I think always try and work it out and if that doesn't work then leave. He needs to build that trust back up big time! Could you speak to someone to unpack it all and then see what suggestions they have?

I’d say RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Usually I would say leave but honestly, if you feel like you can overcome it, try and work it out. Married for 5 & you have 2 kids. He sounds like a good father and has been a good partner to you. Some men are just weird and think they’re single until married. However someone brought up something interesting which was, why is he saying it now? I fear something else might’ve happened or was about to happen and pushed him to come clean idk

I’m sorry that’s terrible but He’s not a good man if he can do something like this to a person he loved and married . They are wonderful pretenders and good manipulators.

Do you know why he is telling you now? Was he about to be caught or is this guilt? I would get to the bottom of thay first because if he is telling you out of guilt then I would think on it and see if you can work past it together (if you want to stay that is). If it transpires that he is telling you cos someone else was gonna dob him in, Id assume he doesnt feel guilt but just wanted to come clean before someone does it for him. I really dont think anyone can tell you what to do here cos we dont know your relationship - no one can tell you your right or wrong for whatever you decide xxx

His confession is to make himself feel better at this point. I think you need to find out why he felt the need to tell you now and figure out whether you believe he will ever do it again and make your decision from there. Sorry this happened x