Is it me or is my mother in law a total nightmare? 😮

So I’ve just had my second baby (well he’s 5 months!) but I also have a toddler who was 2 last week. So, as you can imagine life is chaotic and sometimes I’m just about managing to keep my head about water! Anyway 2 weeks ago my mother in law came to my house - I was having a bad day! The house was a mess, I looked a mess and my daughter was acting up, she’s been going through a very difficult phase. My MIL took it upon herself to tell me how shit I looked which really got me down. The following week when I picked up my daughter she said ‘oh my goodness I have to say you really did look shit last week. I rung my friend in the car to tell her how shit you looked, and how messy the house was. (Bear in mind my daughter was in the back). And lastly, at my daughters birthday last week she followed me to the kitchen (where I was cutting my daughters birthday cake) and she again proceeded to tell me how shit I looked the week before 😔 the sad thing about that is I’d made a real effort for my daughters bday but she couldn’t just give me a compliment. To add insult to injury she took my sister in law to an all expenses day out in London to the theatre, and a posh dinner. All travel included for her birthday. Never has she done anything like this for me. I just kinda felt like wow you could have let me know? She can clearly see I could use a break so I just felt a bit left out. Perhaps that’s just me? As a mother I can say if I’m ever lucky enough to have 2 daughters in law I would always treat them the same. Anyway, I just wanted some thoughts as to whether you ladies would be totally flattened by this. I think a lot of MILs would jump in if and when they get their daughter in law perhaps needed a boost or a bit of help. What are your thoughts? Xxx

Show your support

Well I do think she was shit to keep mentioning how shit she thought you looked. She doesn’t sound like she is that nice of a person. You should say something and stand up for yourself. Don’t let her keep putting you down like that. I also think, she may not actually know or see that you need a break. Sometimes we think it is obvious but from other points of views maybe not. Maybe she thinks you just do t care about your looks, not that you looked that way cuz you are strung out. Finally, I say never compare yourself to another person. That other lady may be your sister in law but you both have different personalities, opinions, and lives. Of course it ain’t cool that she got a super nice vacation on MIL dime. You could use one too. Tell her that. Be plain in what you want but don’t compare, it’s never be the same or fair. You can say you’d be better but you’ll never know til it happens.

She’s treating you wrong. Stand up for yourself. Ask for help instead of assuming that it’s obviously and expecting them to offer. Not everyone, even moms themselves know when others need help or what help they need. Im coming from a place where my own mother doesn’t try to help me out and I have 2 under 2. It’s a whole shit bag. Just ask and be clear about what you want in help. Make clear boundaries about how she should talk to you. She should respect you. Watch and listen to her response and then move forward accordingly

Speak back! Tell her exactly what you written on here. I can’t believe how incredibly rude she is. Where is your partner in this? Surely if they knew their mother had said this repeatedly to you & put you down in front of your daughter, why aren’t they stepping in? Must admit I wouldn’t want someone so rude and poisonous around me & my babies or their help. They might learn that it is ok to speak to someone like that. Might be a little OTT but will she start telling the kids that they are shit if they are having an off day. You are a strong mum! You have enough strength for your children. 🧡

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌