What to do?!

I have a dilemma, and I’m wondering what you would all do in my situation - basically my mum is having her hip replaced tomorrow and I’m going up to Manchester to look after her. It’s a long drive (5 hours) and I’m leaving my almost 3 year old with her dad for 5 days. It’s the longest I’ve ever left her for (having only left her for the first time ever for two nights for my hen do earlier this year) and I feel really guilty about it. She’ll be in nursery during the day whilst her dad works, so I’d only be noticeably absent to her in the evenings and mornings. I am debating taking her with me but a few things are holding me back. I’m 29 weeks pregnant, and I’m struggling with sickness and feeling absolutely knackered in general. My husband is currently doing the majority of the physical parenting anyway as my job is really physical (reception teacher) and I’m just shattered after my week. So if I took her with my I’d be looking after her and my mum, as well as cooking for all of us. I think I’d really struggle, so I know the sensible thing to do would be to leave her here. But I feel so bad?! I’ve been a pretty lack lustre parent in my pregnancy because of how horrible I’ve felt, and I just want to be more present for her whilst it’s just us three, and I can. What would you all do in this situation? Take her or leave her with her wonderful dad?

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Leave her with her wonderful dad! Many 3yos would have been left for 5 days by now. So it’s not an out of the ordinary thing to do. Your daughter will surely miss you. You will surely miss her! But it’s actually good for her and dad to spend some solid time together. Plus when new baby comes, she will probably have to spend more time with dad whilst you take care of new baby! So it’s good to get them to bond now. Plus if you’re in Manchester and don’t feel happy, you can simply leave and head home.

I second the post above plus you can always video call in the evenings

Agree with the above. I’m sure it’s going to be really difficult leaving her but she will be okay with her dad and probably have a lovely time. I’ve had to do this for work and I was so upset. My daughter loves her dad but is clung to my hip when I’m around and she was absolutely fine, just a bit more clingy when I came back. ❤️

As much as you feel guilty, don't make your life harder than it already is!

@Sabs well my mum doesn’t have anyone else so leaving early isn’t an option. I know she’ll be ok - her and dad have a great bond already, he’s actually normally her preferred parent at the moment as I’ve been so sick since I found out I was pregnant and have little energy for her favourite rough housing activities😂

@Megan I see! If mum needs you, then stay for your planned time 😀 Maybe this is a challenge for yourself! I’m only saying go and be with your mum because honestly, Im exactly like you, I found it so so hard to leave my now 3 yr old girl. And actually still find it hard to leave her with anyone except her dad and nursery. However I bit the bullet about 4 months ago and left her for 6 days with her grandma, whilst me and her dad went abroad for work. It was a mental struggle and I wish someone had just told me to relaaaax and trust my daughter to be a big girl! And she was a big girl and was so happy with grandma and with going to nursery for the 6days. When we reunited, it was wonderful and I wish I havnt have stressed so much. I think also because you’re pregnant, it makes doing such a big thing more difficult! The hormones and emotions take a hold of one’s mind! Aww that’s so lovely that dad is the preferred parent! How did you do it? 😂 My daughter is obsessed with me still ❤️

It really does!! So many emotions involved. To be honest dad works from home so just has a lot more energy for her! We started to do bedtimes together and gradually she learned that it was going to be daddy AND mummy doing bed time and not just me, then gradually I started slipping out/he did some by himself. I stopped breast feeding too which was a big help. It’s happened naturally to be honest, he spends more time to her due to my job, so he does the morning getting ready and drop offs at nursery. And he gets up with her at weekends mostly because I’m so bloody tired! That combined with all the rough housing play - she just prefers him. She’ll often choose him for bed time but will still choose me at times thank god😂😂

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