Boundaries and cuddles

Me too. It’s so stressful and tanks my milk supply too. We went away with my partners family on the weekend. My partners niece who is around 8 loves him so much but wouldn’t leave me alone all weekend and as much as it was so sweet, it stressed both me and the baby out as we weren’t left alone at all. The pressure from other people when I have to go off and feed him and constantly getting asked “is he done yet?” Absolutely fucks with my head. Then I’m trying to rush his feeds so he can be with others only to have to go and feed him again 15 minutes later. I was exhausted. I love to hibernate at home and not make plans because of it. My anxiety is through the roof

Set a boundary! "If you cannot be patient, we will live." "If baby does not want to snuggle others, he will stay with me." "I feel more comfortable holding him as he is still quite small and we are feeding on demand. You are more than welcome to come look, but please do not ask to hold him." If its more comfortable for you to take time away while he feeds, then do so, and do NOT rush it. Your friends and family should not be so obsessed with your child that they ignore you! ❤️

Slightly different maybe but I hate it when others just put their arms / hands towards me / baby and expect me / baby to be ok to just hand over my baby to them, as if they’re being helpful to me. I really do not need any help from anyone to hold my baby away from me. If they really want to be helpful they can do house chores but they don’t

Totally agree but yeah funnily enough people are not so quick to “help” by doing chores, they only want to help with something that’s nice and easy like holding a baby 😂 Apart from my mum and sister who when they’re over will cook and tidy and help with all sorts of things ❤️, everyone else will expect me and husband to host them as if we haven’t just had a new baby.

People also don’t seem to understand that newborns feed almost constantly. It also stresses me out feeding around everyone and having to try to be discreet when I’d rather just have my boobs out in the comfort of my own home.

Have you tried baby wearing! That’ll keep him safe and close

Baby wearing was the way I did it. There is no way that they can try and get a cuddle if you don't want them to. Honestly I was very picky as to who I let hold my child and I was really glad I did it.

Personally I kept visits to a minimum- only grandparents and a couple close aunts got to see my son before week 15 (also on days few and far in between). Those first few weeks are you and your partner’s time to bond with your baby. Also you need time to rest/ heal, and baby needs vaccines (if that’s your choice). Supportive relatives/ friends will understand and want what’s best for your baby. Setting this space helped me and my baby not feel so overwhelmed when allowed people did come to see him once a week or every other week. If your baby cries, as his Mother you should be able to ask or gesture for him back. If your relatives can’t respect that then that requires a talk or reevaluated access. There are studies that show the importance of babies being soothed primarily by their mothers and how it regulates both baby and Mother’s stress hormones. Everyone’s different but I credit a big part of my not getting postpartum depression to keeping a postpartum bubble those first weeks.