Tell me it gets better

I don’t know where to begin. I will start by saying my fiancé (LO dad) is an amazing dad. Prior to having a baby I would have told you he was a good partner too with little things here and there he could work on. So why do I feel like since having the baby those little things have become ginormous? We have the same roles as before but I feel like I’ve only gained tenfold where he lacked. Before our daughter he mostly cooked and I mostly cleaned, and with her I say when he’s home childcare is very even, we both contribute and make sure to let the other relax too. But he doesn’t do anything more unless I explicitly ask and that alone is draining. I’m pumping (not washing parts bc thank god for baby brezza). I still do most of the dishes, clean the kitchen, laundry, her laundry which we do separate, Dr. appointments, calls to insurance (countless calls to WIC, Medicaid, etc), fixes on the house (chipped walls, paint, tiles that come loose), the dog (who has every medical problem under the sun). And exercising because my body is the only one that changed. I feel like making it worse is I just had my first shift back at work. I came home and the one thing I asked is that the kitchen be clean. When I get home from 12 hours overnight I’m someone who literally can’t relax until that portion is done. I’m even cool if he shot me a text that said “hey I didn’t get to it but don’t stress I’ll do it when I wake up”. All of this and I’m just turned off emotionally and physically. I’m tired mentally and physically. He used to be my best friend and now I just want to get away from him

Show your support

My boyfriend was kind of doing the same thing and it drained me as well. He’s gotten a little better since we’ve had a sit down and talk about how his actions have made me feel and I acknowledge that it may not be on purpose but it’s still happening and I’m still affected by it, so things are getting a little bit better.

@Rosechelle do you feel like it’s gotten better since you talked? I feel like I’m at the point where I’m done talking. We’ve had at least 3 conversations about this since she’s been born alone and she’s only 4.5 months. He changed briefly after we talk or an argument but then right back.

Ouuuff it’s hard to say whether it was our conversation or how I acted when he went back to his ways. I legit had to get a bit direct instead of beating around the bush and being real nice. I told it like it is and kept being vocal. And at times went silent. There’s still things we are working on especially since going back to work. It’s hard. Just let him know also the consequences of what happens not just to you but for him too.

@Rosechelle I can tell it’s bad because I’m a very direct person and I’m so exhausted with the conversations I’ve reverted to mute. I appreciate your input though. Thank you

Of course !!! I’m sorry this is happening to you

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌