Would you be upset in this situation?

My partner finished work and I made dinner for us and our son. We don’t get family dinner often as my partner usually likes to eat different things than us. My partner plays online chess on his phone and started a chess game just before I made dinner. I told him dinner was ready and we all started to eat, however my partner was staring at his phone. I asked him if he could please put it away whilst we were all eating together and he said no he is going to finish his chess game. I asked him how long is left of his game and he said 15 minutes, I told him we would be done with dinner by then and it’s unfair for me to cook this dinner and then just have him playing chess through the whole dinner and not being present. He said he’s going to finish his chess game and not going to come off his phone until it’s done. He then proceeds to play chess all throughout dinner. His point of view is that he can’t quit a chess game as it effects his chess score but to me It’s just hurtful and also I think it’s teaching our 1 year old son that family dinner isn’t as important as him sitting there and playing chess on his phone? Am I wrong for being upset? Would you also feel upset? My partner doesn’t get where I’m coming from and doesn’t want to apologise and It’s just really upset me 🥺

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I think the main issue is him starting the game when he knew that dinner would be ready soon.. He shouldn’t have started a live game in that moment, but maybe instead one where you can make a move like every 24h (I’ve also used online chess loads and so does my husband). He is right in saying that his score would be ruined if he’d have stopped; I know not to interrupt my husband if he’s in the middle of one of those games 😅 And I do understand that tbh / I don’t have an issue with it. But as I said, he started the game at the wrong time, which is on him.. Seems like a lack of foresight! I’d just politely ask him not to start a live game when he knows that family time is soon approaching.

@Aliyah very good advice. I will say in addition, based on what I notice with mine vs husband’s family, family dinner might be more of a tradition for some vs others. My mom-in-law thinks it’s sacred, while I grew up mostly eating separate with my brother while watching tv and honestly still love eating by myself watching a show. I make sure to do family time in other ways (walks, games etc) but if your husband is like me his gut reaction might just be that it’s not a big deal.

My man always plays chess on his phone and would be so mad if his score took a hit but also - grow up lol it’s a score for an online game and we are your real life family!! I totally get it

The years go quick with kids Does he really want to prioritise a game over experiences with his baby?

He needs to grow up to be honest. He's a lucky man to have a family to sit and have dinner with and he won't interact with you because his game is more important. It's pathetic. You're absolutely right in being annoyed.

Just bad timing. He needs to make sure he doesn’t start a chess game and instead, play with your child while you are cooking??????

He sounds childish af. I don’t have a dinner table in my apartment but if I did I’d made a strict no phones at the table rule. That should be reserved for family time. I tell ppl this all the time, remember you can’t raise a man. He wanna be childish ok whatever that’s on him. But don’t let him teach your kids that’s ok. And you definitely ain’t gotta put up with the bs either. Men nowadays wasn’t raised right it’s sad but true and a lotta them don’t wanna change even for they kids

Urgh I would be livid. My husband tends to always go for a cigarette when I tell him dinner is ready which drives me mad but we always eat together. I just have to wait a few mins for him, which isn’t so easy now I’m pregnant 😂

@Kathryn get used to it now because sign of things to come perhaps?

Tell him to play blitz next time before dinner 😉 fast games

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