Struggling to parent in a religious household

Hi all I live with my FIL and husband. We live in the basement of the house. I understand we live with him and it’s also his house and I don’t know if it’s worth mentioning we pay all the bills in the house including groceries. My father looks after our 10 month old while I work 4.5hrs a day but only the days my husband also works. He’s great with my son and I don’t mind him playing church hymns or listening to his teachings as even though I’m not religious I respect everyone’s beliefs. My FIL is not the same and will impose his beliefs on you. He has scolded me on my beliefs on gay marriage and how I say things ( I had mentioned I was dying to sneeze for which he made me rebuke my words)Today u came home from work and he had gone down to get a spare onsie. Upon passing our living room he seen the two pumpkins my husband and I had carved for a date night. He reprimanded me when I got home from work on how I had invited the occult into our home and that’s why my son was slightly fussing today. I don’t feel I can speak up as he is not my father. I don’t want to put my husband in a tough spot but I also don’t want to raise my child bowing to him too? Should I just bite my tongue as he helps us out with childcare?

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NGL I'd tell him to shove it but you're not me. I'm in a similar situation with my own parents, but they know better than to shove their beliefs cuz they know they'll get called out on it, and that I'll start pushing back on other things. Esp if you're paying the bills, he can take a hike

Your husband should definitely hold your family’s boundaries with his father. Even if you live in their house, they should respect your parenting, your beliefs and your privacy too.

Are you able to move out with your husband? If you're paying all the bills might as well be for your family and have peace of mind and not have to deal with that nonesense.

Well it’s spooky season so I’d get out all the Halloween decor 😉. I’m jk. Sorry you have to go through this. I am not religious and when people start to tell me about their beliefs I get super uncomfortable because they are so aggressive with it. I think you should have a talk with your husband to tell his father to get a grip. You guys pay the bills!!

Oh my goodness, my mother is somewhat like that and I literally fight her about it all the time. She has improved though! I think you’ve got to turn it around on him and say if he’s such a believer of God (or Jesus, I’m assuming he is a conservative Christian?) or have a real relationship with Jesus, then he should know better that Jesus taught us to love others instead of judging them. Lol I’d say something along the lines of “thank God that He is so loving, look at all the blessings we have despite us carving pumpkins for Halloween”. It’s not about proving him wrong, it’s about turning the tables on him lol. For the sake of your mental health though, it might be better to speak about this with your husband and ask him to talk to his father. I get it though, it’s super hard and such a frustrating thing especially when they’re helping out with childcare. 😓 Wishing you luck and strength! You got this, mama!

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