Visitors after birth

I had a pretty rough first birth and I regret not taking the time to heal. This time I’ll be having a week for just myself and baby. If you feel this way stick to your guns and if they try to overstep then it’s really inconsiderate, you can always change your mind to have people over anyway. But I totally agree with you x

i feel similar, i would like my partners parents and my mum to meet the baby once he is here, but in terms of all other guests i want to wait to see how i feel. I also think that as a mum when you are so vulnerable post-partum the guests that are allowed should be ones that make you feel supported/safe/ and will help you out. The baby isn’t aware if people visit after three days or three weeks. My partner agrees and wants that initial time just the two of us but is a lot more relaxed about people visiting after that. I would of liked to have more of a set rule, as i feel overwhelmed already by how many people will want to pop round but have said if i’m bleeding, in a nappy and leaking milk i only want people i feel most comfortable around being there🤣

We did our parents the day after we came home, we then did my partner's sister, other half and our niece a few days later. We are close with them though. This time round it's baby number 2 and I have my little girl to think about, it'll be a few days again at least! We always made sure that no one turned up at the same time, if that makes sense, so we didn't have a house full x

Thanks ladies! It just really irked me when he said ‘it’s unusual you know’ and I said ‘it isn’t’ and he argued again ‘it is.’ Like I was being OTT?! Maybe I’m just feeling sensitive. But as Louisa said, we could be heavily bleeding and leaking milk everywhere! My partner spent 2 of the 5 years I’ve been with him having no contact whatsoever with his mum (there’s a lot of history there) and we barely see her normally. (She lives with said sister) so I’m certainly not close to them! I do get along with them fine but don’t honestly know them well enough to say I want them to be here pretty much immediately. I think it’s very much gonna be a wait and see scenario. But if I say I’m not ready for visitors then whether he agrees or not, he’ll have to respect that!

Everyone is different just go with what you want to do. With all my births I have been up and about straight away and had visitors come when ever they want obviously I'm not doing any running about for them they know where the kettle is

I personally would like to keep it to just my partner, myself and baby for atleast a few days minimum. I absolutely would feel a bit overwhelmed if all the in-laws came over so soon after but I appreciate everybody is totally different. Most of my friends have felt the same way too and stressed about boundaries to me once I have the baby and to ensure I have enough time to myself first so absolutely feel this is normal xx

If he wants to ask, I don't see any problem. She can day she's not ready and that's it. When I had my first we did not have anyone the first few days but that's because all family lives far but depending who it was, I would not mind. I would definitely not be a host. You want something, get it. You use something, wash it. But the people that I would allow to come that early, would do that anyway.

@Conchi oh yeah he would absolutely ask. It was more his response when I reminded him that she might not be ready just yet and not to presume. It was like he expected it would be fine and me being considerate thinking maybe she wouldn’t possibly want visitors just yet was ‘unusual’. Which by the sounds of the responses in this post, my thought process is far from unusual! Don’t get me wrong,if I felt able to,I’d have visitors straight away. But personally, I want to get breastfeeding established and anyone but EXTREMELY close family I would not feel comfortable getting my boobs out in front of! He just forgets that everyone is different and it’s more the breastfeeding thing for me. His other children were formula fed and this is going to be a whole different experience. Even just in terms of frequency of feeds and I (and baby) need to learn this new skill!

I imagine we’ll have parents only in the first few days. Other relatives and close friends I’d imagine after a week to 2 weeks depending how I feel. That’s just what I’m imagining

@Sarah what you said is absolutely valid. That's why each person is different. Ask and respect the mum's decision whichever it is (which I know you will)

I think it’s really personal choice and preference. I had our first on a Thursday, was discharged from hospital Sunday evening and I called my parents on the way home from hospital saying I just wanted my mum round as I wanted a hug 😂😂 technically was 3 days after birth but I was just so overwhelmed I just wanted my mum 😂

I don’t want visitors yet (4days) we have had my mum and father in law (and even then my father in law didn’t take the hint that I was done and wanted him to go) but that is for support no one else will be coming until well over a week