Is this an identity crisis?

My son is a year old, been with my husband for coming to 10 years. My husband has recently raised he doesn’t feel cared for and needs reassurance that I want to be a housewife and he can come home and things are done. He says this as currently it’s not all done and I’m focusing so much on our son. I feel so overwhelmed? Like I’m trying so hard but it’s never good enough. I’m running on empty all the time, my son’s sleep has been so shit since day 1. My husband helps a lot and I think he’s just fed up now and I just feel so shit. I’m pregnant too, 3 months. It’s been so shit, had 2 weeks of thinking I’m miscarrying, then a cold, then nausea kicked in HARD, another cold. It’s been miserable I’ve been miserable. I just feel a failure. I can’t do anything well or right. It’s not my husbands fault. I really don’t know what to do

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I would ask your husband to clarify more. Does he feel uncared for because the house isn't spotless? If so, that's extremely unfair. He needs to understand where you are mentally and that you aren't just sitting around all day being lazy. Find a way to meet in the middle and discuss each of your needs and make sure they are realistic expectations

Well firstly your son is the priority. The days often get away from us when caring for children and honestly I don’t think partners fully realise how much it can be to care for a little ones needs all day and get other stuff done. Let alone when you are pregnant and have all that to contend with. You are a team, you may be a SAHM but you have one of the hardest jobs. You are doing your absolute best and ensuring your LO is well cared for. My partner had similar issues until one day she cared for baby and was so overwhelmed in that short space of time begged me to come home and burst into tears when I got back. What I try do is spread out the work over the week and just do general maintenance every day. If it’s not done 🤷🏽‍♀️ child comes first.

I feel like your husband is being a bit harsh. And also I don’t think him feeling cared for and “all the housework being done” need to equate to the same thing. Could you explain how overwhelming it is and ask what would make him feel cared for if you’re not able to do all the housework? Also remind him it’s just a period and won’t last forever. You’re literally in the trenches, he needs to see and appreciate that. You’re obviously putting your own needs second to your kids so he should as well!

Is he in the 1950’S !!! Seriously take no notice and tell him to help out

He has delusional expectations. Pregnancy is soooo hard, the first trimester is exhausting! I hope you feel better and are able to keep up with the chores and also maybe add in some date nights in the second trimester

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