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Looking for advice from submissive traditional women. Yesterday I was extremely nauseous and in a lot of pain. We were at my in laws from 3-9. I didn't start feeling bad until around 7 or so. I know it was because I was snacking on candy with no real meal the whole day. I went to lay down and woke up still in pain and husband keeps asking what do I want to eat. I can't even think atp. My husband says we're leaving but I know him. It's gonna be another 30,45 minutes before he even starts loading up the car. I'm laying down waiting for him to get it together. He finally loads up and we leave. He keeps asking me what do I want to eat. I keep telling him I just want to go home. I have to 💩. A few minutes on the road asks if I want chicken. Omg fine, whatever quick and easy. We stop for chicken. We leave and head home. Then he remembers I asked for soup earlier. Stops at subway on to find out they don't start serving chicken soup until November. We finally get home I go straight in the bathroom. I finally come out and tell him I need to lay down. I walk past him one more step I'm in the room. Then he asked for a kiss. Like dude are you fixking kidding me rn. I hate to deny him simple request so I turn back to kiss him then lay down. A few minutes later he comes in to use the bathroom and I'm just venting hmabout how bad I feel how much pain I'm in etc. We have 2 babies a year apart. One is playing, the other he brings to change his diaper. If my boobs are full and if I want to nurse our infant. I'm stunned you guys. Literally ready to cry. I explain how I was just telling him how bad I felt and you ask if I want to feed the baby?? His response "I was just asking" I know that's exactly the problem. He sees I've been in pain for hours, I haven't ate all day, I'm too far gone to even want to eat now i go straight to bed and he still asks me something like that??! He didn't even check nonsense if there was a bottle for him in the fridge first. Idk if he gets an attitude or maybe I hurt his feelings idk he takes both babies and I'm trying to rest. There was a bottle in the frridge, we have a freezer stash absolute worst case scenario we also have formula. A little time goes by before newborn is screaming and crying. I try to let him just be a dad but I can't take it it anymore. I call for him like what's going on. He's got an attitude. "Idk. I fed him. Changed him, burped him he's just pissed off. Idk" Basically given up on even trying to figure what's wrong with him. I take the baby and now I'm pissed off and kinda snapped a little i don't remember exactly what I said just wish he could parent alone when I'm feeling so crappy. He was like I'm not coming to you and bothering you "I don't have any comfort hearing him cry like that" "I hear him cry all the time" *yea when I'm deprived of sleep from the short bursts of 4 hour stretches* I can't remember how the argument ended but when he walked out the room I saw our other baby and he started to cry. I've told him so many times we need nonstop arguing in front of him and it keeps happening. I want our marriage to last. I want to communicate effectively. Idk how to have this conversation without him feeling attacked or me getting pissed off again. I wish he would think about feeding my son and I before going to his parents. I wish he would have gotten anything while I slept the first time so I could get something in my stomach when I woke up. I wish he didn't have to ask me to figure something out when I'm already not feeling well and just take care of our children without me feeling the need to intervene. I wish he would find out for himself instead of "just asking" I wish he wouldn't make me feel like shit for telling him what i need from. He likes to throw pity parties when I tell him anything constructive he'll say things like "im just a piece of shit" "I can't do anything right." Idk how to talk about this for a positive outcome so he's more pro active without having to ask me every time

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Maybe send this to him. Sometimes reading might be better than talking if you feel like it would lead to an argument.

You might not like this but I think you should apologize. You let the day get away from you and your lack of food, and general sickness affected your mood and generally how you treated your partner. No one deserves to be mistreated even when you don't feel well. Your nausea is a legitimate reason to feel terrible. But all I can read is him trying to tend to your typical needs like your hunger, your full boobs being the go to for baby, he even remembered you had wanted soup, but you had the same attitude. I think explaining this to him is OK but that just says you want him to understand you and your feelings. But you have to provide some understanding as well. And some solutions on how to do better when unwell. You made sure to let us know how bad you felt but I wonder if you clammed up a bit letting your in laws and your husband, know how bad it was and what exactly you needed. The rest just went from bad to worse because at that point you guys were fighting each other instead of the problem.

Its easy to let a fight get the best of you even when you love someone. But if you both can admit that wasn't your best and then your both calm you both can discuss how to ensure that your argument dont effect the kids and what you both can do to reach each other in difficult or high pressure sitautions. Also for that last part I recommend reading this pin. It helped stop that level of deteriation in communication. https://pin.it/14cqtuV80

Your feelings are valid however, I'm alarmed that you are blaming him for not feeding you before you went to his parents. Are you not an adult who can feed themselves? Could you not ask your in-laws for a biscuit? Sandwich? Something. You were there from 3-9, did no one eat dinner? I recommend couples counselling and individual therapy. Therapy can be amazing for your mental health. I'm also curious what you mean by traditional submissive women?

As a traditional stay at home mom. I disagree with a lot of these comments. I always think of myself last if even at all. I feed my baby, my husband, and animals before I even remotely think about food for myself. My husband knows this so he reminds me damn near every day to eat. Being traditional should not just be you taking care of everything and everyone, yourself included. A husband is supposed to care for his wife. He should be paying attention. And you should never feel uncomfortable to being anything up. There should be complete trust in your marriage especially in a traditional marriage. Look up she runs a podcast with her husband and does TikTok as well as YouTube. Look up Chris and peaches

@Elizabeth maybe it was the way I worded it but I didn't mistreat him. I'm explaining my thoughts process in the posts but I didn't express myself to him until the very end when the baby was just screaming. My MIL has called me a couple times since we left so there was no clamming up there. Not sure what's going on with the link.. nothing comes up.

@Hannah we each have days we're responsible on handling food. Sundays are his days. Only thing my in laws had was a corn dog which I did eat. Unfortunately with gastritis fried food makes it worst but i didn't know thats what it was until the following night. Nobody ate dinner. Therapy is great for people that can afford it.

@Myranda i just looked them up and enjoying their content! Thank you for your comment. Very much needed ❤️‍🩹 We had a long talk last night and we're in a better place.

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