Mil rant

Mine did this to me all the time and it really hacked me off. So yes you definitely have a right to be annoyed. It's like they treat you as the oven or surrogate but don't want to acknowledge you as baby's mum!

I think it’s a little of a reach to say she’s excluding you. They didn’t know YOU when you were little or growing up. When my mom or my grandparents sees my kids they don’t mention “oh that’s so their dad”, “dad likes this too” they simply just don’t know my husband like that. They’ll say “oooh your daughter gets all that from you, you were so like that” but my mother in law has also mentioned “P was so like that as a kid, he is so getting pay back” So maybe take it into consideration its not to dig at you. Has your mother in law tickled you, probably not, so how would she know? Have you ever given your mother in law and in laws major attitude or has it been expressed you have attitude? I wouldn’t take it too out of context IMO.

@Austyn this is a great point; I've never thought about it that way.

@Austyn no that’s a good point! I never thought of it that way. Definitely makes me feel a lot better

You’re welcome. Sometimes I like to look at it from an outside perspective. No doubt that your feelings were valid at the time. You want to be included considering you are momma but that would be my advice on this! 🩷

I think she’s just excited by her new grandchild and trying to ‘relate’ out of that excitement, not to spite you, unless you she purposely does other stuff as well as this. Pick your battles x

I honestly don't see anything wrong with mil comment.

Your feelings are totally valid. A child gets features and some behavior traits from both paternal and maternal bloodlines. But her saying your child is more like “THEM” doesn’t acknowledge the fact that child has maternal genes too. It is indirectly reducing you from a mother status to just an incubator status which is unacceptable. A mother goes through hell to give birth to the child and no one has right to say something so invalidating. I am sorry you have to go through this.

My mil was a bit like that at the beginning. We have a good relationship. I end up telling her it would be nice if she can sometimes acknowledge me a bit more and she just did. Depends on your relationship with your mil tho. Sometimes basic and respectful conversations are needed to fix things and move on

I totally get what you are saying and I will be allergic when my MIL does this but mainly coz we have other issues. I do agree with what @Austyn said and that my MILs frame of reference will be my husbands childhood and mannerisms and not mine. So I think this is a “pick your battles” scenario and this is definitely one to let go On the flip side my SIL just had her first baby and she is literally the spitting image of my brother. And I really hope that us saying that isn’t annoying or offending my SIL (even though she says it herself that the baby is his clone and we have a great relationship with her anyway)