Leaving toddler to go to a concert?
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@Sarah I just wish I knew how to have fun if I knew she might not be :(
@Tanisha Just remind yourself a 20 month old will find SO MANY THINGS to explore, she will definitely have fun! Mine around that age would have fun with a plastic straw!
She's unfortunately extremely codependent and only plays by herself for 20 ish minutes.
If he’s willing to tolerate it try not to think about it! You and your hubby need this time alone & she will be completely fine.
@Sally I suppose disassociating would be the only way to get through it :(
Baby that’s a grow man. Leave that child. My baby has had once a month auntie/uncle/grandma&grandpa visits sits he was a week old. Although happy to get away, my husband and I miss him so much but you have to leave the guilt behind
@Shawnika I haven't ever left her anywhere for that long. I think 2 and half hours for our first movie date about two months ago was the first time. As much as I know she'd be safe, I don't know if she'd be happy for the entire time. Which I suppose isn't the worst thing in the world. I'm expecting my second baby in a few days/weeks so I guess this outing is important since there won't be another one for a really long time since I plan to breastfeed again.
@Tanisha girl she is toddler. Their mood changes so much anyway. It sound more like you are codependent than the kid. Of course it’s natural they won’t play independently for super long periods but she’s grandpa. I imagine she loves hanging out with him as well too. She will have plenty of fun. You will come back to a happy kid. The mom guilt is real don’t let it get in your way. Have fun and don’t think about it anymore. Grandpa has already raised kids before, that’s why he’s a grandpa. He knows what to do. Chill mama, you sound like you really need this
@Allana I hope you're right. I don't love his old fashioned parenting style. But it's not like I have a ton of other options. Hopefully it'll be a good night I don't regret.
Mom guilt is so real! You deserve to go out and have fun though. I go to a concert every 1-2 months and my parents babysit. I never expect or have them try to put my daughter to sleep (she’s really attached to me for sleep). I’ll bring a toy she really likes to my parents house, favorite books or new coloring book, and give them suggestions of shows she likes in case she fussy and only screen time will do. I make sure to be back by midnight, she’s always up waiting for me but happy! If your daughter feels safe with your father in law, and he’s involved with her care, im sure they’ll find ways to connect and have fun. Maybe leading up to the concert you could prompt some activities/games for them to do together so she associates him with fun! You also have to trust your gut - and if you dont feel like he’d be a good sitter, could you bring her to the concert? My daughter LOVES going to shows and is good about wearing her headphones.
@Anne I definitely feel like you get it Mama ♥️ I appreciate your input!
@Tanisha I felt the same way leaving my son for the first time, and it was with his dad🤣 so I get it!!!! But if it’s a responsible adult, you’re child will be fine☺️
Mine still breastfeeds and needs mama but we do a weekly date night for 3 hours with the babysitter. It’s good to let them practice being away from you and you need the break. She’ll be okay, please have fun!
@Laura Oh yes I'm not worried about the breastfeeding part with her since she stopped at 14 months. But my newborn will be breastfed up on demand so won't be at least 3-4 months before I have to leave him. It took me and my husband 17 months before we even left her with a close family that we live with. I have many family members here but she has stranger danger so I didn't just leave her with anyone. She's more used to my father in law now since we've been living with him for 5 months now.
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I have a hard time in that aspect. I never leave my son because of it. When I do it’s just to the store and what not but it still makes me feel so guilty like Jesus.
@Katariha Oh my goodness the guilt is unreal, I agree! Even if I have to take a shower and she's hanging out with my husband and she hears me and starts banging on the door 'MAMA'. And now we're both showering 😭 It took me 8 months to just leave her for a couple of hours with her own dad, my husband 🙈 I may be codependent but oh well 😅
The guilt is normal, but mama needs time to herself too! So long as you have trusted childcare, everything will be a-okay! When you come home she will be so happy to see you and you'll be happy you got a short break!