AITA? Boogery Aggressive Godson
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You aren't the ass hole, and you have every reason to defend your baby. Your SIL should respect you as you respected her and her son when he was a baby. She can't be mad that you're establishing boundaries with her son because she's not taking the initiative to teach her child how to behave. I know 3 year olds are learning but she needs to put in the effort to teach her child how to behave. I also think it's funny that SIL tells your man to have a chat with you but he's not having a chat with her?? That's his baby too. Let them be mad! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I have mixed feelings about this, probably because I have two children these exact ages (3 yrs and 7mo). Yes, the 3yo needs to be gentle with the infant, but that toddler is still a baby, too. If you have a problem with the kid, it is 100% a problem with the parents. A child that age is not responsible for his own actions yet. If anyone was rude or mean to my son, I would be pissed. If you are just gently stepping in and setting and holding boundaries with the baby, then I think you are absolutely in the right. If you are taking out your frustration with the parents on their small child, then you might be the jerk here.
I have a 3yr old and a 7m old. 3 yr olds do not have awareness, but that doesn’t mean his parents can ‘chill’. If my 3yr old was near SOMEONE else’s baby, I’m hyper aware and conscious of her actions. My toddler is my responsibility and I don’t take it lightly. I can say I’m a bit more lenient if my toddler is near her lil bro, cause they’re both my kids. That being said, if my toddler was being talked to rudely, I’d call them out a 100%. As adults it’s our responsibility to be conscious of our own temperament around kids, even more if it’s with other’s kids. You gotta have a chat with your SIL about being more aware of her toddler’s actions. It’s a tough conversation, if you feel like you were rude to her child, you can start by apologising. That way you set the tone for the conversation to be a little more respectful so it doesn’t derail into a fight.
Thanks for the reassurance and tips ladies. For some additional context i am recounting this from the point of view of my child being most at risk from another persons child who is not disciplined by their parents. I never took out my frustration on him, yelled, or spoke to him rudely. I was however very vocal with him to please be gentle, no kissing, and no being rough with the baby. I wasn’t as vocal about it during our first trip and I think that’s the difference. I am completely aware it’s not his fault but more so my SILs whose parenting philosophy is “don’t give bad behavior attention so it doesn’t repeat itself”. My baby got sick again with a fever after this second visit which was expected given our nephew had a runny nose again. Needless to say my husband got the point after dealing with a feverish baby and loosing three days of sleep. I get feeling bothered that someone else has to check your child’s behavior but someone else’s child cannot be at risk 🤷🏻♀️
Absolutely not. correct that kid if his parents won’t. Your kids come first
NEVER feel bad about wanting to protect your child. 3 year olds don’t have awareness yet that they need to be gentle. 6 months is still very fragile compared to 3 years. I would be just as annoyed and upset, especially since you have vocalized your wishes and they have been ignored. My cousin’s kids are 3 and 1.5 and I don’t really let them around my 7 month old unless I’m sitting with them. Your husband should have a talk with his sister if this continues because she clearly forgot what it’s like to have a small baby.