Cluttered house and husband doesn't help
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@Meghan I've never thought of that but it makes so much sense
I think maybe some therapy would help him. My dad use to do the same thing. ESPECIALLY with the McDonald toys. He has complex PTSD with treatment I think it can help. Also ask him what his idea of clean is. Ask more and more questions that are kind of leading me/ open ended that help him see the problem is him. My heart goes out to you it’s a complex situation, I know how you feel being a child in it
Start throwing his shit in the trash and sounds like some therapy here is needed.
@Kia he's very hard headed and only sees one side to most things. It's very complex as you say. I will try to do the open ended questions but knowing him he normally starts insulting me and down talks as if I'm the problem. Therapy seems like a good idea it's just a matter of how to make him go.
@Tiff 😂😂 sorry your comment made me laugh. That's how I feel 100% of the time but I don't want him yelling at me like because he starts to get mad and then makes it into a big argument.
@Kia can I ask what was the cause of your dads ptsd ?
😂😂 I’d have him leave one day and have a friend or family member come over to help deep clean - throw shit out - and be like “oh dang, I told her you were keeping that stuff, guess she assumed it was trash, oh man!”
@Tiff 😂😂😂 yeah that's a brilliant idea. I mean why not.
Definitely sounding like hoarding if it’s recycled things, stuff to throw away. I would try to explain that and make him see the connection before he gets worse
@Heidi I've tried but it's been years and the more years the worse it gets I can only do so much
If it is getting worse then therapy is needed. Unfortunately by caving in you are enabling him. Considering your boys also think it is normal, it’s just not okay.
Hoarding is a mental illness and the only way to get your husband help is if he speaks to a therapist and unpacks his trauma which has led to this. Whatever you do, DO NOT throw his stuff away, regardless of it being junk. It may cause him to spiral and set him back even further. Sadly you may find that he never stops and for the sake of your children, you have to leave him before it takes over all of your lives. You also need support as it is horrible living with a hoarder as they can’t see how they affect everyone around them.
@Siu Yes and it's getting out of hand
@Neena Thank you 🙏 I didn't know much about this mental illness until now that I'm talking to you all and thank you for that confirmation I've prayed for because hoarding is not the only issue there's so much more about him. Sadly it's a decision that I've been thinking about for many years.
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My husband can be the same, but tools he’s never going to use, tiles he’s never going to put up and bloody wires he doesn’t even know what they’re for 😂 As child like as it sounds 😂 I bought him 2 big plastic boxes (that fit nicely in a cupboard) and said to sort through it all and whatever doesn’t fit in them needs to go.
@Sophie I mean they seem useless to us but to then it's gold 😂 he needs the big plastic boxes I'm sure he was thankful.
Hoarding is a mental illness. He needs therapy and your kids need it too before it becomes a huge problem for them as well. Sometimes tough love is the way we need to go.
@Jennifer thank you 💕
He sounds like a bit of a hoarder.