Yes that helps heaps
I think you should decide with your partner which day is for which family and stick to it to your mil and to your parents. I think that if your parents miss one week of babysitting for your mil visiting is not really a point. Yes they decided to move away and that's ok they did. If they make the effort to visit, you also should make the effort to welcome them. (If it was your parents who moved away. Would you say the same?).
So this is my problem he wants his mum on Christmas day for the present so if my parents come for Christmas his will be there but then I'm not aloud to take mu son to my family's boxing day lunch cause he wants to be fair to his mum
I'd just be a dickhead and give them both the same day thats the only fair solution to me.. but I'm sick and tired of pandering to everyone's need for quality time 🤦♀️ 😂 Hope you manage to sort your plans.. stop pleasing everyone though.. its your Christmas too!
So he wants his mum across both days? I think you just need to talk to him. Explain that this is causing you stress, that between the two of you, you need to decide on a day and stick with it. No he cannot have both day as that’s just unfair - sounds like your parents have done a lot for you guys. I cannot comment on his as you’ve only mentioned they’ve moved away but I think he should at least acknowledge that you both have family that deserve to spend time with you and your LO. I decided last year that fuck it. I wasn’t seeing anyone and no one was seeing us. Too simple - easiest most stress free Christmas ever. We were able to do/eat what we liked when we like.
He can’t have it both ways! So one day per family …ok …but then his mum can’t be there for presents on Xmas day and expect that she then gets the whole of Boxing Day 🙄 Just tell him, your parents get Xmas day and his parents get Boxing Day. You can save a few presents for Boxing Day so they can see your child open some. If he pushes back then remind him that his parents made a choice to move away and it is not your fault they don’t see your child. Just because they are so far away does not mean they get to swoop back in for special events and make the whole event about them and their visit “to see everyone” 🙄
See that's where I get annoyed as that's what happens every time even before he was born we work weekends so my parents were always going to have him Saturday night as we start at 6am but his mum was demanding the have him every second week but wouldn't want him sleeping and drop him over in the morning before work at 5am it's never what we want it's what they want a d he just gives in and doesn't care and if I say something I'm been a bitch
You set the date with your parents since your partners mum can’t decide and that’s that. Take the decision away from her, if your partner make a fuss just be plain and say you owe your parents for all the extra stuff they’ve been doing for you guys and giving them a day is peanuts compared to what they’ve given you! Hope this helps!