Any suggestions…
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He wont nap off of me either 🙄 and he’s never settled for longer than 5mins on his playmat. Wont tolerate swing or bouncer at all! I know not recommended, but i’m desperate for both sleep & some time without a baby on me 🤷♀️ he’s not swaddled wirh arms in, its a sleep bag rather than a swaddle which I beleive are safe when co sleeping x
The 30 mins is never guaranteed and more often than not doesnt happen 🙃
Sleep training is your only way out of this. I don’t think a baby should control your life in the way that they are. I know it’s hard my baby used to be the exact same until I sleep trained. It is personal preference though. I never did CIO I did the pick up put down method, it took a long 2/3 weeks but we got there eventually x
I am in the EXACT same situation 🥲 I am not so bothered about the intimacy either cause body image and all. But I miss cuddling, kissing him... It just feels like I have a housemate at the moment 😅 At the same time I absolutely love cosleeping, and I read a study (I can send it if you want) that said breastfed babies and safe cosleeping is safer than them sleeping alone, which reinforced my views on cosleeping. Also I absolutely adore sleeping with her, and when it gets difficult I keep on thinking soon she will be bigger and won't want to sleep with me and I'll regret not enjoying it. I just wish we had a massive bed for my husband to sleep with us too. But he sleeps very deeply and doesn't wake up easily, and moves around a lot so it's not safe for him to join us in our double bed.
Though sometimes he sneaks in for a hug in the morning which is amazing 😍 but like you, I miss him a lot, and I miss our relationship. Someone on this app told me this is all so normal and everything will fall into place soon, we just need to be patient. And for intimacy I had read that breastfeeding mums' brains aren't that keen on intimacy and that's a biological thing that just comes back slowly with time. xx
I’m at the point where I hate co-sleeping! I just need to have some time on my own after having him touch me all day long! I have a toddler too though so also feel touched out by him at the end of the day. Baby wants my boob in his mouth constantly while co sleeping too. Its soooo hard & I find myself getting frustrated that he needs me so much! My eldest was never like this and although he didnt sleep well, he slept in his next to me! I cant even say im well rested due to co sleeping because he still wakes constantly 🤷♀️😴
What you’ve just written above is exactly the same for me. My first was completely independent and this baby is totally velcro. Difference is I really don’t mind because it’s such a short time they are like this. I feel constantly overstimulated with touch and being needed but like I said, unfortunately I don’t have the opportunity to pass baby on to someone/partner when I need a break. If you’re not enjoying co-sleeping then I would say start thinking about other ways to sleep but that doesn’t guarantee that you’ll have it easier either. It’s well known due to lots and lots of research that babies who co-sleep develop healthy secure attachments in future and especially when breastfed too. My baby also uses the breast for comfort sleeping (she won’t take a dummy) so I understand. Best advice I can give you is practice patience. Be intimate with your partner in other ways, being intimate and affectionate is not only shown via sex. Your baby is 4 months old, he needs you.
I know it’s not recommended, but I was in the exact same position as you as our LO had such bad reflux we count never put him down, even if we tilted the cot. So he now sleeps on his front, and is thriving!! Don’t get me wrong, it freaked me out initially, but I have a baby cam and can see him turn his head and move so easily and never has his face straight down. He now sleeps through the night! I get it, it’s not for everyone as if you suffer with anxiety it’s going to send you over the edge, but in my opinion as long as your baby has good head control and can move from left to right facing with ease there’s no issue. Might be worth a go, I just tried it for daytime naps initially and watched him on the baby monitor. Couldn’t believe it when it worked! 😂… also, please no mum shaming. I’m aware of the advice, but my baby my choice xx
@Abbie no judgement here! I know how desperate you get when in survival mode! I feel so miserable about it all that it is affecting my mental health which is not good for me or my kids! Funny enough, when my eldest got close to 1 years old, he started sleeping on his front naturally and we would rub his back to get him to sleep and he’s an amazing sleeper now! I dont think baby is there with head control and ability to turn it yet though so dont think I could take such a risk right now! 🙃
I’m afraid you’ll both have to be intimate during the day when baby naps or when baby is awake but settled 😂 would have to be a 5 min job lol! Also being intimate outside of the bedroom. Use that 30 min window when baby naps in the next to me. I also have a very clingy 4 month old but I’m single so don’t have the intimacy issue. I’m sure lots of people will suggest sleep training or even CIO method. Personally with a clingy baby I would do neither. Ps Baby nests definitely not recommended as is swaddling when co sleeping. ❤️