No set routine..

Ok first of all you are definitely not a failure. How your baby sleeps is really luck of the draw - some babies sleep amazingly with little help, others have all the help in the world and still struggle with sleep. In terms of routine, I keep things relatively loose. Baby wakes naturally at whatever time he wants and then his morning nap will be earlier or later depending on what time he wakes up. Generally he will wake up around 7am so his first nap tends to be around 10am but it's not a strict time and I look for his sleepy cues as well. His afternoon nap is even more loose. I like to go out in the day somewhere so my boy will either sleep in the pram or in the car on the way there/back. My only "rule" is that he doesn't sleep past 4.30pm as this will impact his tiredness for bed time. Again, bed time is somewhat flexible. We all eat together so it depends on what time I finish cooking tea, but he will tend to go to bed between 7pm and 8pm. Cont'd

So he’s having a nap at 9.30 then again at 12.30? That’s quite close together for a baby this age. I’d say maybe try going down to two naps, one at 10.30 ish and then one at 3.30 ish? That would work with his wake up time and bedtime.

Have you tried 2 naps instead of 3? Nap times became hell with my little boy but turns out he just needed longer wake windows! Might also help with the nighttime sleep a little! I used to always rush in when he woke up but I wasn’t coping with the constant wakeups so started leaving him a little to self settle and we finally are on 1-2 wake ups which is a miracle as he was a terrible sleeper too!

This is a huge message but I just wanted to give my "loose" routine as an example. I also wanted to end on the fact that some babies have lower sleep needs, some just aren't great sleepers. That's who they are, not your parenting. I find it very hard to fall asleep but tend to sleep through the night - my son gets off to sleep quite quickly but is a fidgety light sleeper. We are both built like that - no one could have made me a good sleeper. Please don't blame yourself for anything and don't get too hung up on timings is my advice ❤️

Our days are never the same either, we have a very lose structure! Usually naps around 11am but I will book classes at 10am, 10.30am, 11am and we just make it work. You are not a failure! My only tips (if you wanted them, no pressure!) is to delay the naps as he is only up for 2 hours, more typically at this age you would expect 3-4 hours so I would try something like nap at 10.30/11am and then keep the next nap at 3 or 4 as is, and this may help a routine to settle! Good luck x

My daughter usually takes a nap around around 7 now. She has a nap somewhere between 10 and 11 for about an hour maybe an hour and a half. Depending on how we spend our time she then has a nap at around 3.30/4 for about 50 minutes up to an hour and half. She usually goes to sleek around 7.30 to 8.pm, she might wake up around 3 to 3.5 hours later so between 11pm and 11.30pm and then settled again til morning. I don't try to settle her because she'll fight in and gets upset and frustrated and then I get stressed so I look out for her ques and when she's tired she'll come to me and we have a quick cuddle, bottle and sleep. Keep going. We all have bad or off days. It will settle and get better for you. X

Try using sleep tracking. I used to have the same problem with my older daughter until I use the sleep tracker app then she’s much much better and slept through the night since 1 year old. Basically I googled how many hours does 9 months old need, and then according to recommended sleep time, my daughter adjusted her sleeps within 1 week. Same as food routine.

I just go with the flow with my little one because daytime routines don’t ever go to plan for us. She’ll sleep when she wants to sleep and that seems to be 2 naps a day (around 9.30am and 2pm she seems to get tired). I find life harder when trying to get her to sleep when I want her to, compared to when she wants. I watch for her cues to tell me she’s ready for a nap which I then can get her down easily once I can see she’s tired. We still have a bedtime routine, as long as her naps don’t go past 5:15 then we can still get her down for 7:30 x

Thank you all so much for the great advice and tips! Maybe I just need to change around the routine we currently have. Sorry I meant he has two naps not three, we try at 12;30 but it fails so we try again around 2ish! Thank you all again🥹 xx

Ah I see! He might even be ready to go down to one nap?

@Harriet Rose I’m thinking so, he’s been up every 1-2 hours again, woke up today at 7am, we’ve had breakfast, walk outside and I’ve tried putting him to sleep at 10am but still here half an hour later fighting it 🙃 I’m just at breaking point

I’m so sorry that sounds really tough! We’re having the same through the night, so I can totally relate. Feel free to message if you need some solidarity!