I think this is normal, I certainly have felt like this with mine on through various phases he goes through. Toddlers are challenging, being frustrated doesn’t mean you love them any less. And that feeling won’t last forever, nor will the phases they go through. I’ve found it harder as he’s got older because he’s at nursery 5 days a week. He’s an angel there, and whenever we’re out, but at home he plays up and really pushes boundaries as it’s where he feels safe. I have often wondered if I didn’t go back to work and he didn’t go to nursery if id feel different because I knew how to handle him better as it was only me.
I feel the same about my daughter. She’s nearly three and has gone from being a curious little learner to a full blown threenager who needs to be managed most of the time and convinced to do the most basic things. I’m 29 weeks pregnant with my second too, and teach reception full time during the day, so my patience is absolutely gone by the time I pick her up from nursery. Don’t feel bad - they’re really hard at this age. I’m trying really hard to manage my snappiness/anger at her, I’m reading a lot of things about their perspectives of the world at that age and it does help keep a handle on myself when she starts throwing herself on the floor at bed time. You’re not a bad mum, toddlers are just a travesty!
All normal stages - it can be tiring and frustrating when they are pushing boundaries its normal , more intense at different times and stages Children require a lot of time energy and lots of patience that runs low when you’re tired and it is tiring being a parent - give yourself a break , don’t be so hard on you. Also Just think about it your at work a lot which will be tiring then do you get downtime after this before going straight to looking after a little one which also is tiring ? Do you get any downtime for yourself when you’re not working like doing things for you ? I honestly think possibly more time for you might be the answer. I sometimes use childcare and get babysitters , obviously get to know them first, do checks etc but then once you know them you can use them for adhoc babysitting etc or whatever you need, I have met some great child help on their . You deserve to have time for you ..: then you will have more to give .. fill your cup up first X
I can totally relate. My little boy is the same age as yours & he is pushing mine & my husband's buttons a lot lately. It is totally normal for their age, though & it won't last forever. We also had a car crash, but it was when my son was only 7 months old. Luckily, we were all ok, just like you & your son were. Could you possibly have some PTSD? My husband is having counselling, 2 years later, which he probably should have had when it happened.