Somedays I'm reminded I truly have no village

My mom stopped by today because we didn't have power and she commented how our kitchen was clean (it doubles as our laundry room so there's typically a lot of clothes piled in bins). I told my brother about it after she left and he told me that she talks shit about how our kitchen is dirty all the time. Saying stuff like "are you gonna tell her to clean her kitchen" or "when the boys are older and have friends they're not going to want to come over in that pig sty" not ONCE has this woman ever offered to help me even when I was in the absolute depth of postpartum. Both my family and my husband's family live 5-10 minutes away from me and NO ONE offers help or offers to come over or stays longer than 10 minutes unless my husband is here. My brother has been my biggest help with coming over when I need it and I'll never take him for granted. My kids are very high needs and I prioritize them over an insanely clean home any day of the week, I struggle with fatigue and chronic pain constantly but my mother doesn't care about that. I don't even talk to my dad because of my childhood. I just fucking hate that I can't rely on anyone but myself because I'm surrounded by selfish assholes who act like I don't exist. It's days like today I'm reminded how alone I am and how little people around me care about me. I deserve better and so do my children. I'm about to go no contact with everyone since no one fucking cares anyways.

Show your support

She wouldn't be allowed over anymore

@Victoria I'm debating on that, honestly. I can't believe she would judge me like that without ever offering to help. She should just say that shit to my face and not be a bitch behind my back, but that's how my mother is 🙃

My mother is the same way. I tried recycling there for awhile and my oldest (only child at the time) would take the empty milk jugs and bang them together like cymbals or get a flattened out cereal box and point at the different things (like horse, cat, person) my mom went and told church members that I let my child play in the trash and throw it around all over the place.

@ᏗᏒᎥᏋᏝ🧜‍♀️ I'm sorry, what??? Kids looovvee to play with boxes and stuff like that, it's great sensory play that's free! My boys play with boxes all the time! I would've been piisseeddd.

The only houses that stay clean either have a village or no kids! I cook 3-4 times a day my kitchen stays clean for maybe 20 mins when your kids are of age to have friends over you will have more time to tend to house chores if she doesnt like it then she can help 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Leah that's what I'm saying! Our place was decently clean before kids, the only "messes" we have or never ending clothes and toys on our floors. I'm very active with my kids and don't feel like spending my day cleaning 🤷‍♀️ my mother wasn't active with us as kids. We were either at school, our grandparents, summer camp, or left alone to figure things out. It's a lot easier to clean when you pretend like your children don't exist.

Ugh, I'm sorry you're going through that. No mother deserves to be made to feel bad about a mess when her kids are her number one priority. We don't have a village either and our house is a living mess, but it is living and it's alive. Hope you know you are not alone in feeling like this. You are lucky to have a supportive brother. He's your village. Your kids are lucky to have you as their mother.

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