Advice on being a stepmom/ co parenting

So my baby daddy has kids from his first relationship and i help him out with them so much we get them On saturday and they go back On monday night every week and the only time he is home to even see them is on mondays and they go to school anyways moral of the story we also have 2 of our own children together which he also doesnt spend much time with because he is always working…well he offered for us to take care of them for winter break(2.5 weeks) but he is not going to even be home to take care of them so im just not sure how i feel about it because they dont really respect me, or our daughters… their mom recently moved and so the new school they go to is really ghetto and they have been picking up bad habits from the other children at school and so when they come to our house they have potty mouths. I dont feel comfortable telling them anything bc im afraid they might tell the mom. But at the same time my baby daddy is never around to see it so im not aure how to bring up their behavior with him without telling him i dont want them to be around Our daughters

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Well not having them around their siblings isn’t an option, but as a mom who has kids that have a step mom I’d be cool with her coming to me and being like hey I really don’t like the kids behavior towards me and I want to help us have a better relationship what do you suggest I do or what can I do to correct them. And also maybe she could talk to the kids who respecting you. For us all parents have the right to discipline our kids all equally.

If they are in your home you are allowed to tell them off and correct their behaviour. If your partner is expecting you to take care of them then you can parent how you wish to. It’s also not your responsibility to have them whilst your partner is at work so make your voice heard next time.

Those kids are a victim of their parents circumstances. It sounds like your BD trusts you with them. Talk to him about the fact that you’re uncomfortable being in charge and that it’s really hard. Do not come from a place where you don’t want them around, come from a place you want him around. Ask him if he can take a little time off during the break to spend time with all of them. I grew up with a stepmom and a stepdad and they were both important people in my life. You are allowed to ask them to do things and to help you, and you can tattle on them to dad. They’re kids, you have to be the grown up and set your boundaries with them.

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