That's wrong. He needs to help with the kids and focus on you to. Clearly it's all about him and sounds like he don't want to make things better
If you ask him to do things, does he do it? If he does, he is “trainable.” I know it seems like I am talking about a dog, but until he is in your shoes, doing the stuff you got do. He won’t understand you.
@Alexandra I have absolutely no one that actually wants to help.. I'm a burden to anyone I ask. My aunty helps once a month but she huffs and puffs as soon as im asking for help.. makes me not want to ask any more.
@Jessica it is about him. The only time we do nice stuff is when he feels like it. Or if he has to go pick his medicinal weed up from the beach areas he'll take us along for the drive after I BEG him to get me out of the house as a family. We always fight when we're out because he's not happy with the outing. :(
@Priscila depends what it is. Basic chores like vacuum and dusting yes he'll do. Dishes laundry and everything else, he won't budge. He parents both the kids for 15 mins and freaks out and passes me the newborn back. I haven't had time to myself since my toddler was born but he can go on boys trips and days out without any responsibility.
I feel like if you've tried everything and communicated as best you can then it's time to consider life without him.
Sounds like he won't change
If he is not willing to change, this relationship will destroy you. Are you a stay at home mom or do you have the means to provide for yourself? I am asking that because you need to think if you want to be in a very tradicional marriage in which you do everything. If you don’t, be clear. I sat down with my husband, and told him that I was unhappy. That was giving our relationship one year, and he knows I am serious. He is not perfect, but here we divide things as equally as possible. And every is getting better for sure.
@Priscila I'm a stay at home mum. He can see the frustration and sometimes acknowledges it and helps but it doesn't last. The last thing I want to do is break up our home and keep him away from the kids but it's becoming too much for me. He also knows how hard it is with the kids but he'll he understanding and nice for a day then just forget that he knows how it feels. Or he just doesn't care that I struggle. I really don't know any more.. :(
Why can't you take the kids out by yourself then? My ex was like this, he just made days out miserable, so I took my kids by myself and honestly, it was lovely and I enjoyed it so much more! I planned where me and the kids were going, sorted what they needed, got everything in the car and off we went!
If he said that to me I’d lose my shit! Like how dare he?! You’re running around doing all the work you’re 3 months pp and he does f*ck all? Nah he’d be gone
@Rebecca I'm always out during the week on my own with them so come the weekend he either says he's coming or tells me not to go because I've been out all week. I just want a nice day out once without an argument happening :/
Start doing outings without him, stop asking. Don’t put up with it. Not worth your mental health. You deserve so much more xx
I'd leave him. He's a prick. You deserve better. Your kids deserve better 💗
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I would stop doing certain things with or for him. Like when he asked to do the eggs. Simple no I’m tired do it yourself. Start giving him back the energy he’s giving you. I think he can see your weak and vulnerable and playing towards that. Show him some strength and fight back. When he comes home from work tomorrow tell him yuck you look awful. (Bastard)
He doesn’t give a shit about the relationship clearly so don’t give a shit either and start giving him the same energy back. Take the kids on ur own ane don’t ask him to do ANYTHING anymore and show him that you’re not arsed about him anymore he will soon start to worry that he’s pushed you too far this time
@Alexandra I agree, none of that is ok it’s borderline abusive. I would make my exit plan to leave it won’t get any better
None of that is okay. You deserve better! Do you have family or friends you can lean on?