Struggling

I can’t be the only one that gets to the end of the week and thinks, another week where I’ve not been the best mum I could’ve been? Or thought since becoming a mum I’ve not been the mum I thought I’d be? I feel like I lose my temper which I swore I’d never do, but my little one kicks and hits me and I ended up shouting because gentle has absolutely no end result! Believe me I’ve tried and still do try!! I figured my little one would be further along in development so can’t help but figure that’s my fault? We did classes etc from a very young age, so maybe I haven’t done enough? I was a SAHM and had my little one 24/7 until recently when they started Pre School. I am with the father but I sometimes feel like a single mother with a not single status if that makes sense. I feel like the tv is on way too much these days but little one is exhausted after PreSchool, and isn’t really interested in ‘play’ and defintely not ‘pretend play’ I didn’t have the greatest childhood and feel these ideas of pretend play and fun activities just don’t pop into my head. We do a bit of painting, and sand pits etc but I just don’t remember the things I’ve seen online etc. We got for walks around our little town 6/7 days a week and see animals, swimming every week, other clubs if we can. I don’t really have any friends so coffee play dates aren’t really a thing but we often go for coffee dates just me and little one. I don’t know if I’ve just blown up today because it’s been a long day and a constant battle with little one I just feel like I’m failing.