Partners - he just doesn’t seem to get it!

Before I rant about my partner he is very good at doing the practical things such as making me a drink when he does get home from work- his work means he does work long hours. I do tend to get a lot of the household chores before he gets home Anyway he just doesn’t seem to get how to comfort our daughter and instead always feels that I am having a go. He has watched me for the past 9 weeks. He doesn’t volunteer to help with a nappy or rarely takes her off my hands. I frequently pass her over to give him time with her but as soon as she’s cries he doesn’t know what to do and just places her in his lap. I’ve said she needs a cuddles /soothing but he doesn’t seem to get it. Any help or advice would be useful 👍🏻

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No advice but I could have wrote this myself! Especially the place in lap bit. My partner does this and continues to play the X box etc. he doesn't seem to get it either. If you find anything that works- let me know. We've had countless fallouts over it and he tells me to stop having a go.. 😖

I’m in the exact same boat! Couldn’t have said it better myself! Any advise you get I’d love to hear it! We’re almost on the verge of ending our relationship due to him not understanding/ thinking he’s not doing anything wrong or helping out! Had enough xx

I know it can be frustrating and my advice is to cut him some slack ;) it is not as easy for dads to connect at such a small age. When you read on the subject, mums brains are programmed to take care of their kid while dad’s brains to play with them. So as the baby grows and becomes more responsive he is likely to spend more time. My husband had this with our first kid too and if you see them now they are inseparable. I am on baby 2 now and he is of course holding her but happily “ignoring” her to talk to our son! So all in all don’t worry, give him time

I can fully relate! Our little one is 7 weeks now, and have had two occasions to have an hours sleep as I was burning out- Both times didn't go down well, him claiming to not be able to sooth him "like I can" I told him he has to learn, I didn't know... took me weeks to figure out find the right way to sooth him and little things he likes to get to sleep - I told him I'd show him, we're supposed to be a team so swings and roundabouts! After a few fallings out, he said I need to ask for help (as I felt he wasn't offering nappy changes, feeds etc). I was being stubborn, I shouldn't have to ask?! But, I play the game and ask. Its been a couple of weeks of asking and he does seem to be seeing/doing more before I ask now. When it comes to settling little man when he's holding him, I just calmly say "try this... or this" and again, it's helped. I think it's a confidence thing too! Yes, we do need to cut them some slack..Without us having to pick up all the pieces, we have enough going on. Hope it gets better!

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