Not overreacting at all. The promises people make before a baby and the reality can be so different. So many people want to show the world how great they are but hiding what a shitty person they are. So sorry about the baby shower also! I’d just always keep how she treated you/ lack of in the back of your mind and now you are in a better place and stronger not rely on her. Ensure if she is to have your son or offers help, have a back up plan to cover yourself. It’s always a shame when mothers are left to struggle and those around them able to help, don’t!
@Gill Im so sorry you are going through the same girl 😔 We are getting to the same situation now that my son is older. He doesn’t really care whenever she comes over and is just much more excited to see my mom through video call. And slowly she is putting the blame on me for our relationship being so far. Im the kind of person that will avoid confrontation at all costs and maybe if it was another time I would let it go but the postpartum depression was something that I never thought I would go through and it nearly turned me into a ghost with all the meds that I had to take. I just really needed the view from someone else so I don’t feel like the worst person in the world pushing her away from our lives. Thankfully my husband is very supportive and he knows how much his mom failed him and our family and that Im not ready to move forward with her.
@Sophie Thank you girl 💓 I allow her to come over whenever she asks to see my son and send pictures/milestones updates. Whenever she is here I usually go to another room to avoid talking to her because it makes me so uneasy and snappy. Even keeping this distance is being a struggle girl 😪 She will ask to feed him and say EWWWW to what Im feeding him (she hates veggies/fruits) and just leave everything dirty on his high chair. Not one singe thought about making my life a little easier. She asked to take him to a doctor appointment and arrived LATE, I just didn’t lose the appointment because our pediatrician is super friendly. I took her to visit my family in my home country and she was bitchy the entire time because I come from a poor family and they don’t have the same lifestyle that we have. Now she wants to go out trick or treating with us and whenever I said that it was a family moment for us she cried saying that its her grandson and she is missing out 🫠
Oh honey, no. You are not the problem here, but you DO need to talk to your husband about this. That's his mother putting his WIFE and BABY on edge and SHE is being inconsiderate to ALLLLL of you. You three need to have a conversation about her behavior and how it is affecting you, because secondary postpartum depression is a REAL THING and it will kick you straight in the kitty.
@Andrea Thank you for that! I do feel the need of having this conversation with her. Unfortunately Im still very emotional and I can’t talk about this without having a meltdown. I never fully adapted to the USA and I think it plays a huge part in all of this. My husband is very understanding and doesn’t push me to get closer to her. She failed alot raising him and he talks about with me all the time like he doesn’t have any attachment to her. He wants my mom to move over here with us and is overwhelmed with the love my family gives to him. I find it hard to talk about it with him because I feel like I touch such a hard spot for him. He doesn’t know half of what goes on since she only comes over whenever its just me and baby and I keep all of this to myself. I come from a family that always gave me so much love and support and this situation is so new and got me in such a vulnerable time of my life. Im just glad to know that its not all in my head.
Oh lovely, I'm so sorry. So much of this mirrors my own experience with my mother in law. She promised she'd be there for us but never showed up and continued to let us down week after week, whilst she sees her other 2 grandsons basically every day. You'd think we live a million miles away but we're only 10 minutes down the road - but guess who she says is the villain? Guess who she blames for my having a clue who she is? Guess who's fault it is that she's not involved? I'm sorry you're going through this, but she has shown you too many times that she can't be counted on and has left you feeling broken in the thick of ppd. I know that feeling so well 😭💔 Cut your loses and keep your distance. Your baby and your husband are your priority - not placating her x