Drug test

Hello, I split up with my son’s dad a while ago now, for various reasons but he was in a lot of debt and towards the end of us splitting was acting VERY strange. I had a gut feeling he was doing drugs - cocaine but no proof… (I’m not a drug taker but when we first met he ‘occasionally’ did it on the weekends but told me he had stopped when we got serious - yes I’m stupid I know, but this was YEARS ago)… Anyway, I used to cut his hair but due to splitting up I stopped but we have been getting on better as co parents recently and he had a wedding to attend so I offered to cut his hair, anyway, I cut his hair and I kept a chunk of it to send off to be drug tested…. I have literally just had the results back and they are positive for cocaine with what I would say it quite a high level as well. I have no idea what to do, the problem I have is the test was ‘anonymous’ so I have no actual proof it was ‘his hair’ - although I wouldn’t lie about this sort of thing. Im literally shaking as I cannot believe my gut feeling was right. Do I take him to court, what do I do?! ☹️ He has always denied taking drugs btw and even now he denies it when I make comments. I’m worried if I take him to court, the court will ask for a urine test from him to confirm and I’m sure it doesn’t last long in your urine, compared to your hair. Someone please help, my mind is spiralling!!!

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Its obviously devastating he lied to you, I've experienced that when trust is broken. I just don't understand about the court thing. When you say your spiralling whats you main worries? Is it to do with suitably of co-parenting.

@Sophia we co parent and we have got into a really good routine. If I take him to court as he uses drugs (which would be the right thing to do, I assume) would they laugh in my face as I used a anonymous drugs test or would they believe me and request a drugs test from him.. If they did request a drugs test and confirmed drugs in his system then would they say he isn’t allowed to have his son on his own (ruining our set up now), I’m worried as if that happens my son loves his dad and it would cause chaos and my son would be unsettled (again - when we split we had to sell our home and it was very all over the place for a few months), but if I don’t go to court how do I know he isn’t taking drugs while my son is under his care and what if my son found it and accidentally ate it etc himself. That’s why my mind is spiralling 🫣

I don't see why you would need to take him to court? If you don't feel like you can trust him to look after your child anymore on his own, can you not just confront him about it & admit you tested some of his hair?

Yeah if you can’t trust him then tell him you tested it and all that. Idk how long it lasts in hair and all that so maybe google that if it was a high level does that mean it was done recently or a while ago but I’d confront him

Thanks all. I thought that taking him to court because he is a drug user would be the right thing to do? Obviously I’m unaware if he does it with my son under his care or not (he is a good dad, so I’m hoping/gut feeling says he wouldn’t do it while he has him) but maybe if he is ‘coming down’ from drugs while in his care isn’t that a bad thing for my son.. He has him 1 day in the week (8-4pm) and then 24 hours on the weekend. Thankfully he currently lives with his mum so she is always there in case I guess. I don’t know, I just feel the need to protect my son. Either way, I am going to confront him about it tomorrow! Wish me luck.

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