How do you guys manage getting out the door?

I'll never have mcds breakfast again.. I'll never make it anywhere... I cancel basically everything we have planned. I feel stuck and I wish I could force it but I know I can't... she will meltdown and I can't handle that either. Defeated n sad 😔

Why are you letting your child dictate the appointment? Take her and that's that? -update- sorry just seen the other comments Fully understand now

@Kiah she’s mentioned that she can’t force it because her child will have a meltdown. Autistic melt downs are rough, can’t get anything done with them screaming bloody murder.

I personally just get on with it, chuck him in the car & throw anything at him that i know will make him happy like his favourite snacks etc. i also make sure he has a good sleep night before and get myself up early to be organised. If it’s a particularly challenging day and everything is going wrong, i would reschedule the appointment. BUT if it’s for a referral and the wait time is a year long i would never miss something like that, i’d have no choice but to drag him kicking and screaming because it’s so hard to get referrals nowadays and you’ll be waiting ages as you know.

Personally my child would have a choice they would be going. X

I wish I could just make her go to these things. I feel like I can't. My baby is little and he is terrified of the outburst if they do happen. Feels like im traumatizing him. I know it would be a major meltdown. She screams that she wants to die and it damages our relationship even... i tried it before with school (now shes homeschooled) If she was smaller I could physically put her in the car and take it from there but she's 11 lol she's stronger than me probably

@Jade like how tho? Complete physical force? I'm not kidding when I say she'd probably lash out and hurt me if I put my hands on her. As a toddler she physically fought with me a few times when things were important.. now she's pretty much bigger than me. (Plus now that I know she's autistic I don't want to put her through the fight of anything like that anyways)

@Melody oh I see I scrolled and couldn't see that bit! Makes sense f

I guess what I could do is put the baby all ready in the car (single mom) and come inside and tell her she has no choice and deal with screaming and locked doors and threats of death and meltdowns... still probably not make it anywhere tho. I'm not kidding I don't think I can win the battle 😕

Repetition and bribery. I know the feeling as my 15 year old refused the dentist recently and got really heightened beforehand. We have a haircut in two weeks time. Last time I promised dominos as it was next door and their machine stopped working! I normally find giving an earlier time and letting him regulate on the trampoline first helps. Also he has a habit of forgetting. Visuals sometimes help if he’s not sure where he’s going.

As an autistic person myself with 2 autistic kids- why make the appointment so early? Being autistic sleep is not easy for us. So I tend to do schedule anything before 10am I mean honestly it’s a big part why we even homeschool cuz we missed a lot of school cuz mornings were such a struggle!

No please incognito do not force her it has been proven that ptsd affects us autistics so much more than non autistics! Locking her in the car to force her to go will cause her ptsd. Meltdowns aren’t something we just get over our bodies remember the trauma and it affects us for years.

@Lyss yea that is one reason why I do homeschooling as well. Mornings were traumatic every time, I felt like for both of us. Now going places in general and appointments are the issue. But my sweet spot time is like 3-5pm unfortunately... Sometimes I can convince her to leave the house but she has a ritual and she will say she's not ready to start getting ready over and over until she finally is and then it's like even if I need to go someone important the place is closed. If we make it anywhere by 2pm it feels like a miracle. And I don't wanna sound mean saying that it's just true. Her therapist says 1pm is her only time slot available now so we keep missing that. And the eye doctor only has appointment available early and after months waiting and her not being able to see I guess I was just hopeful we could do it... But you are right. I won't and I don't force anything. It just sucks and I hope things can get done eventually and I also hope she gets better with it in the future as an adult at least.