Want another child but turned off by how bad my relationship with my husband is getting

I guess this post is to see if anyone identifies with me. My husband and I are very different, we disagree almost on everything but we wanted a child and somehow we resolved our arguments. I would like to try for another baby but I keep having arguments with him about unrelated stuff, silly stuff that I can’t comprehend he says and I am sad thinking I won’t have other children because I don’t want a broken family. My baby has caused a lot of stress on us. I don’t feel supported, I do most of the work and the days he looks after the baby, every room is a battlefield so I have to tidy up after them anyway. I don’t know if we will last together because the arguments escalate to the point that it is better not to talk at all. We don’t understand each other, we both feel the other is not listening, trying to express our feelings is pointless because we don’t get each other. I am hoping it is a phase and also the lack of sleep is making it worst. I want to go back to the relationship we had before, I doubt he would change and I know I need to work on myself too. I don’t want to end the relationship, I want to make it work but I can’t keep quiet when I hear nonsense. What can I do to not argue without stopping being myself. I wouldn’t be happy being quiet, I have personality, there are things that hurt my ears.

Show your support

Personally I wouldn’t bring a child into an unstable relationship - maybe work on the relationship making it stronger then consider another child xx

It seems your answer is in your post and maybe if you feel the relationship hasn’t been good, try out couple counselling. How old is little one? Also, your both parents, need to find a way to work through your agreements and set boundaries in place. Best to work on the relationship first then baby later if it work out over time. It is hard having a baby and then the relationship crumbles. Hope this helps. 🙂💕

I haven’t had our little one yet but I can say this sounds pretty common, and lots of couples find their way through it so don’t lose hope! This scenario is kind of my biggest fear because I keep hearing about it from so many women. Having a baby changes things so much, it makes sense that relationships get rocked by it. But it really sounds like you have the right mindset and if you prioritize the relationship (and if he does too) then surely you will figure it out together ♥️

@Lorraine my baby is 15 months old, I am working full time too, my husband part time so we don’t have to have full week of childcare. I wouldn’t say we have an unstable relationship, maybe I am not admitting it, don’t know. We just argue a lot more now and just feel we don’t understand each other. Also I am in my 40’s so I feel the age pressure towards another pregnancy. I mentioned counselling before to him but I don’t know how much he would open to a counsellor. He doesn’t talk about these things to anyone.

I don't think the baby causes stress, it's lack of support, he or she can't fend for themselves like an adult can. I think partners should pull their weight in the team. I think he understands you well, if you're communicating what you can to him, when you're lacking sleep too. Tell him you realise you're the only one wanting to work things out and if it continues to be one sided, you might as well be alone out of a relationship as well as being alone in one currently. The amount of selfishness in men I'm reading lately is intolerable.

Honestly I would cut down your work hours and focus on home a bit more . Dropping a day or two at work . You’d be less stressed . I think if you want another child and your existing child would benefit from a sibling go for it. If your marriage is strong you’ll both find a way to cope .

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌