Isolated

My baby is five weeks old today. My partner barely helps. His idea of helping is when I ask him to get the baby to sleep whilst I try to get some, he sits next to me in bed with the baby screaming... Like move about the house and sing for ten mins! Comes home from work and won't do any chores because he wants to relax. So I end up doing them all whilst holding the baby in the day. My dad lives ten mins away and is retired but won't help. Yet moans about not seeing my sisters kids. I also feel like I have no support whatsoever. But I'm hoping in time it's going to make me the best mum because I've been doing it all myself. You're doing great, and I'm sure your little one loves you so much xx

People don’t how to help if we don’t vocalise how we want that help- partner included. Because people assume we want our “space” after birth to settle in. I’m not one of those people. I crave chats, laugher, gossip, company. So I ask. I invite. I exaggerate and say I’m out of milk, can you drop by and grab me some please? Or I desperately need a shower, would you be able come by for half an hr so I can shower in peace? And then they bring food, and stay for a coffee and end up watching Netflix w me for 4hrs 😂 People have been here for me my village is amazing, but I don’t expect them to read my mind in what I want and when- I hint, I prompt, I ask. That way they know where I stand w people, w visitors, w company. I ring my friends again for drinks and dinner and they invite me next time knowing I’m willing to come along and that I’m eager and ready to socialise again. So invite your friends over, family over.

@Kellie you are very lucky and it's lovely that you have people that do that for you. I do ask but get told by family to ask someone else. My partner it just goes in one ear and out the other, can't force him to do anything. Sadly not everyone has the same support system. That's why this app is great though because at least we're not alone in it all. Xx

@Emily yeah I was mainly replying to the OP and giving her suggestions on ways she can implement her family’s help. When she said “all the people that said they’d be there are nowhere to be found”….. (they usually don’t know we need help, and how to help) so that’s why I said what I said. To reach out, ask, prompt, hint, invite.. I don’t know of your background, your story. And I’m sorry even your partner doesn’t hear you 😏 makes me sad and angry at the same time when I hear other women’s partners aren’t supportive. Hope it gets better for you Xx