Parenting disagreements

wait what? he didn’t want your baby to stop crying but let him cry and kept putting him on his tummy?

I get you don’t want to undermine or upset your partner but he is an adult who has the capacity to regulate his emotions (although storming off swearing at you isn’t one of those times I guess) Your baby can’t regulate his emotions, he needs you and your comfort to feel safe and calm. Trust your instinct, you are mum! A baby will never be spoilt or learn the wrong lessons from getting that love and comfort. A lot of men generally are poor in the newborn stage and seem to come into their own when baby can laugh, crawl and play. I’m sure he will be a fab dad but this is maybe a time where you need to take charge and tell him how it is, it might not be easy to begin with but your son doesn’t have a voice yet and needs you to advocate for him.

Yeah I understand it can get difficult but I think you need to have a conversation because if it’s like this now at ten weeks then imagine the confusion at ten years - what time is your kid going out till, is he allowed out alone, etc there will be so many things for you guys to decide. I think it’s important you say to him look we decide these things not in front of the baby and don’t have disagreements in front of the baby so you stay a united front when it comes to him, and also so you teach your baby what’s right and how to treat people when he has a disagreement - they watch EVERYTHING 😂 so they learn everything you do too. You will have disagreements it’s natural but where and how is important that you guys can both process it. I always say to my partner tell me what you think we should do and why and then I’ll tell you what I think and why then we can come to a compromise if it’s not similar.

Also about this specifically you are right, tummy time can become traumatic easily so you don’t want that xx if they’re crying on they’re tummy always console then try again

Honestly I know you say he said he’s not good with newborns but if you don’t have empathy for a newborn that empathy won’t grow as the kid gets older. Newborns are the ones you should have the most empathy for cuz they are entirely reliant on their parents! So the fact that he’s already throwing a fit over not getting his way is alarming. He needs to learn to regulate his own emotions better which means he needs therapy. Not couples therapy individual therapy where he can learn to manage his feelings better for you and the baby. Because you did not deserve to be treated that way no matter what. You are his partner why is he saying “fuck you”. If he doesn’t get professional help he won’t get better it will get worse.

It’s so tough because we just have a “mama instinct” and they so badly want to be able to do all the right things but sometimes when they try it’s just not exactly what we would like or not what we would have done. For us we struggled with my husband feeling like he wasn’t good enough for a while and I really don’t want that!! We talked about it and came to the conclusion it’s all in the way im saying “no, don’t do it that way” Instead we feel it’s better put as a question or we statements. Ex. “Hey I was thinking next time him is crying like that could we give him a second just to calm himself down before moving him? (Then you can even explain why)” it helps him not feel so emasculated and then you’re coming up with a parenting solution together. Just remember having a little baby is hard for Mom but also hard for Dad.

Him speaking to you like that in front of your baby is not okay.