How do I get over feeling guilty whenever I am not with my toddler?

My son is about to be 2 next month and I still get anxiety and feel guilty when I am away from him. The other day I went to a dentist appointment and the whole time I was waiting all I kept thinking about was my son and how much he probably wanted me and how much I wish the dentist would hurry up. It felt like the whole appointment I was holding my breath until I was able to be with him again then I could relax. I know my son was fine and having fun with his Grammy and Aunt but I always feel like he wants me around all the time so I feel extremely guilty whenever I have to leave him. I was hoping this feeling would start to go away especially now that he’s almost 2 but I still feel this way. I never go out and do anything for myself or even just me and my boyfriend because I’m afraid I won’t enjoy my time I’ll be too worried thinking about my son and how my time should be spent with him. Even though I know all moms need a break sometimes and time to themselves to do something fun I just feel a lot of anxiety and guilt. Like I only feel comfortable and safe when I’m with my son. I overthink and worry about something bad happening when I’m not around him. Crazy stuff like what if a natural disaster happens and I can’t get to him or some other kind of big emergency. I know I’m overthinking but I also feel like it’s better to be safe than sorry.

Show your support

I’m in the exact same boat. He is so happy with my parents and they take amazing care of him and they help out when I need doctors appointments and things like that. But he’s going to be 2 soon and the mom guilt and anxiety hasn’t gone away. I feel like it’s supposed to be viewed as a break to be away from them but it’s not a break for my anxiety it’s the opposite.

I tend to think of it not as a break for me but a chance for her to nurture relationships with the family. Also the kind of role model I want to be for her is someone who looks after their mental health and has independence from their relationship and life outside of motherhood. This makes me feel like stepping away is important enough that is curbs my anxiety, if that makes sense?

same.. i overthink a lot even if i have to go for an hour for a massage or something. i can’t concentrate on anything and be restless as if its been 10 hours since i’m away from him when it’s just 2 hours. i know this feeling exactly as first time moms. someone has given me advise to have trust that your baby will be perfectly fine and always keep god in your mind and prayers. this is the only way.

@Elizabeth i would trust 100% if my parents were here to take care of my baby. you are so lucky. i don’t trust other people

@Isla really well said. My baby is almost 1. Since she was 2 months we’ve been leaving her with various trusted babysitters including my parents and her nanny. She’s thriving and I think we both benefit from being apart. We’ve even left her overnight a handful of times. Mama needs her own time with her partner, her friends and solo time :) op I would consult with a therapist, the constant worry is no way to live, but I’ve been there! Therapy has helped me a great deal.

@MrsB you’re so right - my parents are such a blessing to us and we know it 🩵

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌