In laws at Christmas

Make your partner be the big bad wolf! Get them to lay down the boundaries. What about offering a middle ground like they can come and see the baby but not stay with you? If they aren’t willing to pay for a hotel or similar nearby then they’re showing their colours somewhat…

We had already booked her a hotel, which we even said we would pay for. But she wants to stay with us, when my partner said we’d be up all hours with the baby and it wouldnt work she replied that babies just sleep all the time and he was being silly 😅🫠

Im telling everyone we are having AT least a week without visitors as a starting point. If I feel differently when she's here than I'll communicate that. But having a baby added to the family is a time for us, not everyone else , and if they don't like it, fk.em 😅🫠

We wanted a quiet one at home but my mother has torpedoed that. I've told her fine but I will insist on being antisocial

Your partner needs to put his foot down with them. I’m blessed with understanding parents and in laws thank god but I’ve been clear with all of them that the absolute max I want this Christmas (dependant on when she actually arrives as my due date is the 23rd) is a nice dinner at home with MY parents (who will also do all the cooking). We will invite my in-laws round as soon as I feel human enough for visitors. If there had been any pushback from them at all it would absolutely be my husbands job to put out that fire.

Thank you! I’m having an elective c section too (mainly due to me being really anxious about birth and the fact I have PGP so desperately don’t want to go overdue as am in a fair amount of pain) but this seems to have come across as a big green light for her to be there the moment the baby arrives as they will know the exact date. My partner is so supportive bless him and trying to hold firm without causing a fall out but Christ who knew it would be this difficult 😩

It’s all about setting boundaries, you and your partner should have the same way of thinking. I am forever discussing boundaries with my partner and I always leave that up him to discuss with his parents and I discuss with mine. I made it pretty clear a few months back that I wouldn’t be having a get together for Christmas but would allow a visit on the day. We’ve always stressed about recovery too and the whole adjustment period and told parents that they need to appreciate that there will be a period where we need time to ourself and its not us pushing them away or pushing away help its us putting ourself first. I expect there to be tension amongst my inlaws when the baby arrives but I will tackle it at the time and if you have a supportive partner who thinks the same, everything will be fine. I totally can relate to the whole vessel statement 😂😂 I have a psychotic MIL who has claimed this child as hers already. I feel like a surrogate at this point 😮‍💨

I think you just have to stick firm with what you want and get your partner to communicate the messages, after all, it’s his mum. It’s likely you’ll still be the villain but one Christmas where everyone backs off and does as they’re told for the sake of you & baby, isn’t a lot to ask. You have my sympathy though because I’ve been having a back & forth with my MIL about Christmas Day - it’s a nightmare. I’ve just pushed on, stuck to my guns and done all the food order for our little family of 4. No going back now 😅 Good luck and be strong 💪 you’re totally right to ask people to stay elsewhere, it’s not much to ask.x