Husbands porn LIES

While using my husbands phone to search something- he handed it to me to use, I typed P into search bar and before I could finish the search the first thing that came up was pornhub. Intrigued I checked history to see how recently/how often/when he was watching. We’ve just soent a few weeks travelling together and really not been apart except for when he’s been left alone with toddler. Turns out it’s almost daily, including when left in charge of toddler and when he’s in his home office “working from home” and I’m cooking/cleaning/being sahm/walking dogs all on my own. I confronted him, more annoyed tbh about his slacking and poor supervision of our daughter and he outright lied, said it was a friend showing him something, one time, weeks ago. Lies lies lies. Now I’m most annoyed about the lies! What do you guys think? UPDATE So he finally admitted he lied, and apologised, said he was embarrassed and understands that the lie was what made me upset not the porn. He also explained toddler was asleep and apologised for not helping around house when I feel overwhelmed. Sounds good on paper BUT it’s not the first time he’s lied to me about seemingly silly things and it’s just getting to me I don’t know what I can trust that comes out of his mouth. He’s said sorry he won’t lie again but he’s said that before. Has anyone dealt with this

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I don’t have a problem with porn. However, it seems like he’s lying so you won’t judge him. I’m not taking up for it because if it’s something you guys agreed not to do it then it’s not okay.

Porn is fine but lying is never okay. Communicate openly about it - don't let it slide.

It's the lies that would bother me, not the porn, unless it became an addiction to the point of not having any sexual intimacy between me and my partner. The issue here is that you are bothered by his lack of help with daily tasks and the fact that he is choosing to watch porn over helping you. A non judgemental conversation with him is needed. If you two agreed not to watch porn that that is okay, but if you personally have no issue with it so long as he isn't lying and is making the time to also be a part of daily household tasks and child care, maybe talk to him about how you don't mind him watching it and aren't upset about the porn but feel like you have a lot on your plate and are stressed and what areas you want his help in and maybe explain that that is where your frustration is stemming from with this situation. Ask him to help meet those needs of yours and why that is important to you/ would make you feel, while also allowing him the ability to have time to himself on occasion for self pleasure.

I wouldn’t care if my husband watches porn. It’s not that deep. I don’t understand why you’d have a problem with ur man pleasing himself

@Om he is pleasing himself looking at other women. I dont think thats ok

@Isabel what’s not ok for you isnt the same for everyone else.

I honestly don’t feel it to be a problem, maybe he was embarrassed when you presented it to him..? The lying isn’t okay but maybe it’s a defense mechanism for how you went about it & brought it up to him? I’m sure he’s just embarrassed.

Lying is a red flag however you phrase it in whatever circumstances they are. Hold him accountable.

I might be in the minority on this, but I'd be pissed too. I don't care if my partner watches porn sometimes. I'd be pissed that it's almost daily and while he's supposed to be watching their toddler. Eww.

The only issues I see here is it sounds like it's an addiction if it's everyday as well as when watching the child is weird... is he jerking off while watching the baby? That's..... gross

Ugh. I had this problem with my ex-husband. I couldn't stand it. He would lie, too. Unfortunately, some get addicted to it. Good luck!

My bf is aware I watch it. Sometimes it does more for me than him! 🤣

He’s totally lying. It wouldn’t be an issue with porn for me, but lying and hiding it would be an issue

Yeah the lying is definitely the issue here, not the porn!

Exactly, the lying and the choosing it as a priority over family tasks is what gets to me. I’m presuming he’s put the toddler down for a nap or set her up an activity and not actually right there. But still. How will I approach it with him again to get to the bottom of the lies?

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