Not sure what to do

Let me start off by saying I know I can do more and I get in ruts some days where I just procrastinate. I need better management with the baby. I can acknowledge that in myself. My husband literally just called me out on not doing a myriad of things and then proceeded to say that’s why he doesn’t do anything around the house or clean up anymore. Because I’m a mess and don’t do anything and just never put anything away. I can literally respond to each one of the things he called out but it doesn’t matter, he won’t listen to me. I ask him to clean up the play area in the morning so it’s ready for our daughter when her and I wake up. He wakes up super early (so he has time to do it) and we’ve been waking up around 9-10am. I would say 5 out of 7 mornings it’s not ready. It’s a disaster from the previous day. So I get annoyed. I don’t get to one bag of laundry and it turns into me “never doing laundry “ yet I just washed and folded the other 4 bags. He won’t put his folded clothes away that are sitting on the couch.

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I’m 100% the same. I have days where I get a lot done and others where I intend to do things and never do. My husband doesn’t complain as I tell him I’ve done nothing. As long as the baby is clean and fed and happy he’s not bothered if I haven’t unloaded the dishwasher or folded the washing. He does his own uniform when he comes home from work as it has to be washed separately from everything else. He also washes the baby’s things as I’m allergic to fairy and have to wash my things separately. I do feel bad if I haven’t done anything and he does stuff when he gets home from work but he doesn’t mind and says on the basis I’ve got the baby all day he’ll do what he can around the house to help

Why don't you tidy the play area before going to bed? Surely that makes more sense? Although, my partner would say it's pointless, especially if baby is going to mess it up again anyway lol. Don't die on that hill, its not worth it.

I am also 100% the same. There is a difference between being dirty and things being messy. Dirty is trash and things that would attract bugs and mold. Messy is just things not put away. My husband is also the same as he understands what it's like to watch the baby all day and how hard it is to get everything done. He helps me by watching our LO for a couple of hours every night while I do my night classes. He also watches her for one whole day on one of his days off so I can have a day off. While my LO naps I clean one room and do laundry if needed. I also eat lunch and sometimes I'm just too tired to get to it and my husband doesn't care. After our LO goes to bed we spend 30-45 min picking up the house and getting ready for the next day. Then we both do our own thing till bed time. If things start to get really behind we will skip picking up and take care of it instead. He used to be like why pick up if she's going to mess it up again but as we know the mess only gets worse.

@Rebecca I use to but then like last night she didn’t get to bed until 1am (teething) so then I pumped and he said he would

I think you should both take it easy on yourselves and each other. We tend to expect more from our partners, and while that’s sometimes ok; let’s not forget their needs in the process. (No matter how small these may seem) I don’t know your life enough but I think that you two need to have a heart-to-heart about your duties, but also agree to remember you’re human and can slack off. None of this will matter in a year, what will are the two of you and the baby.

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