Sahm duties

I am exactly the same, I do everything and I still work. While I maternity leave I did it all and once I returned to work I still did it all.

@Rachel girl idk how you do it! I’m so sorry and annoyed for you

He needs to help, and certainly shouldn't be having little digs! That all takes more time than a full time job - I'm sure you don't get to put your feet up at 5pm?

I think its not a one size fits all for everyone. As an example, in my household, my husband and I sat down and talked about who does what and when. We have our agreement and if one of us is feeling overwhelmed that day or week, we let the other know and they help out in those areas. It's truly unfortunate that so many people believe that SAHM's have to so EVERYTHING when that's just not realistic...

Just had this issue. He spoke with his therapists… and she made it clear that all you do is work so why should she be left with all the chores when taking care of a baby is work too

Been with mine for 10 yrs and we are on baby #3 . He is just getting it this past month . Stopped doing things that they expect and started focusing more on myself and my children needs. They start to feel uncomfortable and wondering why things aren’t going right . I call it “putting yourself first and realizing they are only taking 1 task off your hand compared to the million other things we have to do regardless of working or not . But there needs to be a conversation about where you all can come to some kind of middle ground between the house/family and work

@Desiree said very well!! Conversation has to be done.

Vacation yeah right! I’m a SAHM too and I don’t even get to poop in peace 🙈 the way I see it is I’m not working to care for our son not to do all of the housework. I will do what I can and I do more than him but I make sure my partner is also doing jobs around the house too as he should be (though it’s annoying I have to ask him and he doesn’t just do them).

We sat down and had a discussion. Right now we are more heavily sleep training our about to be 3 yo and that is falling to him because he was breastfed to sleep until this week. But being pregnant and having a hard pregnancy while staying home with a toddler he has stepped up too. But for example I grocery shop he cooks dinners (he is the better cook). I do some days if he has a had a rough day. I do a lot more cleaning but on weekends we do more in depth cleaning together.

@Nai I have tried to have open communication and I get told that all I do is complain 😔

I tackle everything inside the home + everything with our kids (school, appointmens, playdates). Luckily my husband does bed time. If my most stressful part of the day is being annoyed over dishes, laundry, what to make for dinner, etc I have a really good life :) had to adjust my mindset years ago when I felt resentful. I see so many others who have truly heartbreaking struggles, so it's given me perspective ❤️ best of luck to you!!!

Make sure you focus on you and the kids. So it won’t feel like you’re doing too much for him. And eventually it’ll get to him.

They SHOULD help but I get 0 help from my husband as well 🫶🏻 much love

Depends - what time does he get home from work? How many hours is he working? Does he work on weekends too? He should be helping out when/where he can. You BOTH deserve down time to relax.

I hit the wrong one! But no. When home it needs to be split!

Got the same hubby. “I chose to be a mom” which apparently means I do everything… 😭

I’m a sahm, my husband does bed time almost every night. I do the majority of other chores, but if I need help I ask him and he does it. It’s a partnership. Also that comment is not okay I’m sorry he said it. Stop doing things around the house for a bit and let him get a taste of your “vacation”

@Courtney Honestly? I don't think that's relevant. If he was single he'd have to still be doing his own washing and cooking his own tea. He needs to work out a balance and help out at home too

When he is home, he does 50% period. Tell him to go get daycare quote, private chef quotes, and cleaning service quotes. Then ask him if you are on vacation. You should not be on 24/7 365 duty. He needs to clean, he needs to cook and he needs to parent when he is home. Y'all need to find a routine that fits. (As a SAHM i cooked 4 nights, we ate out once and he cooked 2 nights, i did dishes and laundry most of the time but definitely asked/told him when he needed to get up and do his share. He was expected to help with big clean days where I'd go through the entire house as well.) You are not a maid, servent or private chef all in one.