Struggling

Have you had a conversation with him? Sat down and explained how he’s making you feel and how he can make you feel more loved and supported? It’s normal for some distance to form in relationships during post-partum, honestly my partner and I feel like roommates more than partners sometimes, but I’m always open about needing more from him and he’ll try and give it to me.

I’m pretty sure this can be normal. I had this for a while with my partner after my first baby but a baby takes it toll on both of you and we also moved house so all our focus was elsewhere not on each other for a while. The sleep deprivation and energy used on the little one takes it out of you and the stress of a new baby is tough as well as being amazing. As a Mum we don’t always feel like the Man is struggling as they don’t do as much and why the hell would they be struggling but often they are. A newborn still affects them. So potentially could just be this. I think as long as your relationship before the baby was strong and had no issues you will be fine and it will go back to normal with time. With us things just got more back to normal as time went on and the stresses of a new baby and getting your life turned upside down got easier.

Same 😥 first baby and it's definitely feeling like we are housemates rather than husband and wife. He sleeps in another room as he wakes up early for work (with a million alarms it seems). Yesterday I texted him to come hug whilst our daughter was sleeping next to me and it was so nice having them both with me all cuddled up. It felt like a glimpse of what our life will soon be. We just have to be patient I guess. We are also trying our best to go to our weekly coffee date and once or twice a month to the restaurant but we end up talking about our baby or she won't sleep and we have to carry her the whole meal but we end up having fun in the end. As we also prepare slowly for weaning we are eating dinner together at the table, which 90% of the time I end up finishing my plate in the sofa whilst breastfeeding 😅 but it's still nice to dedicate this moment to our family and take time to discuss our days and all. I guess like Lindsay says it will eventually go back to normal we just have to be patient x

Yes don’t worry it will do I’m sure it just takes time. We were pretty much back to normal and our little one was sleeping through etc and life was good but then we fell pregnant again (planned) and have had a spell of the same thing again in late pregnancy with our second as a newborn but everything is falling back into place quicker this time as we more relaxed and we knew what we are getting ourselves jn for if that makes sense. Also from my fellas prospective, he always laughed and said the first 3 months of a newborn are the toughest/worst 3 months of his life (cause of the lack of sleep and worry etc). He says it laughing now but that’s how stressed a guy can feel even tho they might not talk about it and as a Mum we take most of the Mum role with a newborn but it obviously is stressful for them too. (Cause they have to all of a sudden do more housework 😂 that’s a joke but not a joke lol my fella did have to step it up with housework so that’s maybe why he found it stressful 😂)

I’ve tried talking to him and he always makes out like I’m trying to argue with him, it’s really hard to put my feelings to him when he is trying to make out that I’m trying to argue with him so basically I’ve learnt not to do anymore and it just makes me feel like shit all the time that I can’t talk to him, he’s not much of a feelings talker which I know most men aren’t but he keeps saying he’ll work on it but when I try and sit and have a conversation with him he always gets annoyed with me and then we don’t talk for a bit and I just feel like we’ll what’s the point anymore