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Same same

@Kya the only time. My husband clean our house is when we first bought it hasn’t done it since then proceeded to tell me that over and over again

Mine is very helpful and never likes to see just me up and cleaning. If I start the dishes for instance, he’ll get up and start the trash, do the bathroom, etc. But he also grew up with three sisters and made it clear he doesn’t want a maid, he wants a partner. The first man I’ve ever been told “you’ve done enough,” and he finishes the cleaning. Have you discussed this with him? After my divorce I was very clear with anyone I dated that I’m not your mom or an employee so help or I won’t be. Sometimes they need it laid out in terms of expectations.

@Nika yes and I get told I work all day and he says you want me to come home and clean the house after I work all day when I don’t say that all I say is if you can help me a little bit because 1 we have a dog who slobs all over the place and I’m cleaning that up and we have a 3 year old as well and I want to show my son the proper way to clean up after himself since he doesn’t do it at school some times from what his teacher has told me and when I was working and when I was pregnant with our son I cooked cleaned every chance I got

I had to have several conversations about what was fair. And get really clear about what chores he was responsible for. He finally helps out enough that I don't feel like I'm doing everything anymore.

My hubby helps with all cleaning except hand washing pots and I do not do the trash. We both work full time outside of the house. I do find that he does more when I ask for help.

Some men just need to be told what to do… they don’t think like us!! It’s annoying but true, make certain tasks his respond and hold him accountable for getting them done. It’s a partnership and your not his mum

No. He cooks and clean. Your husband needs to be responsible for household chores to. Non-negotiable. Men are not stupid and know what needs to be done

I love all of your response but he will say he works all the time and what do you want me to do clean when I get outta work It’s just really frustrating to me yeah I might not work because stay home but and care for our son when he’s not in school but I am literally cleaning 24/7 and at the end of the day I don’t want to do anything but sleep and sometimes I just don’t bother saying anything anymore

I honestly feel like I have roommates and I’ve said that as well and all he does is get mad well I shouldn’t say mad just come off harsh with his words

Equal partners and parents here. No reason men can't contribute! There's a whole blog out there called "my wife divorced me because I didn't do the dishes" or something like that. Highly recommend it if your husband doesn't contribute!

It's a sad tale of false hopes and promises.

@Anita I feel like that’s what I’m going through all day long

@Juliana you'll know what's best for you, I chose to leave and I'd be lying if I said it's easy. But then I look around and what's changed..... Nothing except Its my name on all the bills. But my stress and anxiety has dissipated and the anger I felt has turned to gratefulness. Finally I found someone to appreciate me......My damn self!

@Anita yes I agree with you but I’ve been through hell and high water with him and I look at my son and I really thank the one person who watches over me every day my grandmother for sending my son to me but damn I am so darn tired of doing everything there are times where I can’t even fall asleep because I’m thinking so damn much about everything

He’ll do dishes, grocery shop and pick up toys that’s about it. Or he will start a load of laundry usually his clothes.

Not really, says he will constantly but then doesn't follow through. I'm trying to teach him in baby steps, I catered for it too long, and now he's used to the dynamic. Buttttt, we're about to have 3 kids now, so I need him to act like an adult who can wash a dish or throw his own trash in the garbage can. I have been letting him know this is the way it's gonna go. We are both stay at home parents, btw. I support us by going to college full-time so I can hopefully get a good remote job to finance our dreams.

I literally have to ask my husband to stop cleaning sometimes. He cooks, does all the dishes, and likes to deep clean the kitchen pretty often. This past weekend he also mopped and vacuumed the whole house after deep cleaning our bathroom.

@Tayler does he have a brother or father at this point 😂

@Juliana you sound like me, but even me sleeping late was a argument point, the reasoning as to why I'm tired. Me being mentally unable to switch off from being emotionally consumed. Have you tried counselling or suggested it, it sometimes gives you the platform to be heard?

@Anita no we haven’t tried counseling I just wish he would help like it’s hurting my body and we do want to have another baby so like I’m trying to get the help from him so when that time comes he can help but he’s so hardheaded it’s not even funny like we used to live with his parents and I always helped clean up at there house I don’t even think he did

@Anita and I’ve been putting the whole wanting to have another baby on hold just to see if he would help but he’s doesn’t so I’m like in my head we have another baby are you gonna help or just watch me do everything

@Juliana you have two children already an infant and a man baby why would you add to that?

@Juliana he sounds full of excuses honestly! Both my partner and I work full time. I’m in corporate defense law and I still come home and cook and clean and not because I’m the woman, because I’m an adult. I wonder how he’d survive as a single man… because that would be my next suggestion to him. I know not everyone is as confrontational as me, but I’m very clear on my boundaries. I’m no one’s house maid!

My partner has been doing a huge majority of household chores and cooking, for many months all, throughout my entire pregnancy and now 3 months PP. It really sounds like you deserve better, and need to set some serious boundaries and expectations with your husband. Definitely not having a child until you’re respected properly.

@Nika so funny you said that he told me if he was single his house would be cleaned and he would make his own dinner i literally laughed in my head about that

@Anita no I have 1 child and constplating on having another one

@Nika he gets upset when he has to work during the day and go back to work at night and me and are son are up and awake and getting the day started he gets mad because he can’t sleep I said uh you have kid now your sleeping days are over

@Juliana I’m so sorry he sounds incredibly immature and tone deaf! If it would be so easy single then what’s stopping you now big man?! He would haaaate me because I would start being so petty and literally clean after me and the baby. Practice now sir, because next I’m going to grant your wish! My ex husband was like this and when I say I wouldn’t do crap by the end! You’re on your own

We have blue jobs and pink jobs :). We are in a good routine and it’s balanced. We have a cleaner for 4hrs a week though which helps massively!!!!!!

@Nika thanks yeah I agree with the tone deaf because today I asked him If he wanted some thing to eat and he was like oh your talking to me I said yeah who else would I be talking to I’m looking dead at you he’s like oh I thought you where talking to our son I said um. No

@Francesca I wish routines would go in my house hold it used to when my son was a baby but now routines just go out the window

My husband does everything for me if I need him too! He was absolutely amazing in my first trimester as I struggled to go to work and to even get out of bed and eat, he did everything for me. I will never know how to repay him, I’ll always be in debt for how he treats me. 🫶xxxxx

@Hanna my husband used to be that way before we had our son. Now he turns the table on me saying I’m not loving or I don’t find him attractive blah blah blah

@Juliana that is so sad ☹️☹️ why would he say those things xx

He does the trash and cat litter. 2 things I refuse to do. He also helps a ton with the kids. I do the shopping and cooking. And laundry and dishes when needed. We have house cleaners tho that come every week. Because he works crazy hours and travels out of state and I now have 2 kids (plus I homeschool our oldest). So having cleaners is an absolute necessity for my mental wellbeing.

@Rema if my husband did the shopping we’d be living on cereal and gushers 😂

@Cheyenne lmao and if I did the shopping we’d be living off candy and chips 🤣 jk I shop decently but he’s better at it.

Sometimes he offers but it’s 🐻 help so I always say I’d rather do it my self (housework stuff but any kind of bigger maintaince kind of jobs he does - like past weekend he redid bathroom (all new tiles etc) - he wanted to paint the whole apt too but I was too sick to go over to his moms those days so he did something I wouldn’t have to be banished for lol) & since I’ve been pregnant he comes with me for all the errands so I don’t have to carry everything myself - at this point I’m so huge I don’t think I’d be able to … bc of how dizzy & exhausted I am all the time it takes me a lot time jsut with cooking & cleaning so it’s annoying I don’t have any time to myself even to do things I have to do much less any of the things I would want to

Haha we have the same husband 😭

@Juliana my partner never ever has. And himself is very messy. I used to come home from work and all the breakfast bowls would still be on the dining table, dirty clothes on the bathroom floor etc. it would be so draining to have to tidy up and then start dinner etc. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. The only task he has is to take the rubbish out, but even that is an argument every time.

@Juliana but kids like routine :) what’s different now? I’m sure you can get back on track and you will feel so much more in control

@Francesca yeah kids do like routine and I’ve always had one since working in a daycare we had a routine but when my husband is around the routine is out the window sometimes my son doesn’t eat lunch when we do things on the weekend

@Kya I honestly don’t ask for much but if you see me constantly cleaning sweeping mopping wouldn’t you say to your self like damn she is always cleaning let me help her nope he doesn’t even do that

@Hanna because he is a pain in the butt he says that I don’t find him attractive or want him I want him to help and be the way he was before he’s always saying I changed after our son was born and it’s kinda tiring to hear it and when I say something about helping to clean he says I’m always complaining lately I don’t say anything anymore because it clearly doesn’t go in his brain

@Kya my husband will take the garbage out and feed the dog that’s about it sometimes leaves the dog bowl outside or in the sink and doesn’t clean it he rather sleep then help

@Juliana he’s working day shift and night shift? My husband works a lot and still helps but not much with the kids and stuff during the week. If he’s working day shift and night shift then that’s a lot to ask him to be cleaning and taking care of the kids in his few hours to himself and time to rest before doing it all over again. I haven’t read all of your responses in the comments so forgive me if I’ve missed something.

My husband works 60 hours a week comes home cooks dinner and he does the shopping. But that’s about it. Sometimes on the weekends he will decide it’s cleaning time and we will all clean together.

@Hanna you are fwineee girl, he better know what he’s got!! 🥵

@Cassie no he works during the day and sometimes depends he will work night I usually don’t ask but on the weekends he can help like for example today he was off I didn’t ask him to do anything because I knew what the answer was gonna be but the dogs bowl is still on the floor and I didn’t even clean it and I don’t plan on cleaning it either