Anxiety leaving baby with dad..

I’ll be doing some KIT night shifts in November and then I’ll officially be going back in January. I have MAJOR anxiety as dad has never been left with LO more than an hour or two. He’s taken her out ONCE in 9 months, which he forgot to put a jacket on her & she ended up unwell, didn’t have a clue how to put her in the car seat, didn’t know how to put the pram. If he tries to put her to sleep and she cries he gets annoyed. He hasn’t got a clueeeeeeeeeee. I do everything for LO. He always says she doesn’t like him and I mean I don’t blame her he doesn’t do much with her. Gets home from work, eats, 💩, games, works out and then sees her at night for a little bit. I’m just worried about how LO will cope without me. I can just picture her crying NONE STOP. He doesn’t know how soothe her and will give her back to me. I mean he’s a good dad when he wants to be but I’m just worried about leaving her for so long when night time is when she is most depended on me. Which is his fault as when she was 4 months I kept begging him to give her bottles so she’d get used to it and he never did. But to the outside world he does EVERYTHING. lol tried to speak about it to his mum but him and his brother are mummy boys so her boys can do no wrong. My mum does live with us but she won’t get home till 11pm. So he’d be with her 7-11pm and then it’s almost embarrassing for him to give my mum his daughter because he can’t handle her. Like I would be so angry if I got home the next morning and my mum told me she had the baby. But st the same time I’d feel reassured that LO wasn’t screaming the whole time. I mean baby will still scream during the night because my boobies are her comfort but I just know my mum wouldn’t get annoyed and I’m not saying it’s no okay to get low in mood if you’re trying your hardest to settle LO but it’s the fact he hasn’t done ANYTHING with her

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I felt a similar way with my little one and his dad, but honestly it was absolutely fine. I'd built it up way too much in my head. It'll do him some good to take the reins. Can you do a couple of trial runs in the next few weeks before you go back ? X

I think as bad as it sounds no one will look after your baby as much as you. And it’s such a high bar to set. You know your baby inside out. But the way I see it is we had to figure it all out with a newborn. My newborn cried constantly and I struggled through as any first time mum. Then eventually it all clicked. So if your baby does cry a bit more with dad then it’s just like when you first started out. I’d say as above have some trial runs and try to give him hints and tips without sounding condescending. 😬 I’ve left my boy with his dad a few nights while I have dinner out. I leave a schedule of when I do stuff and tell him he can do as he needs but ‘this may help things run more smooth’. As for the comforting yes I second, my partner can’t do this at all and also would get frustrated/ bored. But he just does the fun high energy play and that’s not always great before bed.

Also… does your baby use a comforter? You could wear it down your bra a few days then start getting baby to sleep with it. My boy has a teddy I’ve started using and he will snuggle his face into it once I put him in the crib and fall asleep quite instantly.

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