Finances

That's a tough situation. Schedule a time to talk when you know he is most at ease, and avoid bringing it up during stressful moments. Let him know ahead of time that you'd like to discuss finances so that he can be mentally prepared. Use "we" language—for example, say, "I think we need to reassess our financial situation" rather than "You're not giving me enough money." Remember, both of you are a team working toward the same goals. Be honest and clear about the debt and how it accumulated to its current amount. Apologize if needed. Acknowledge that he is the sole provider, and then offer any solutions you have for clearing the debt. Bespecific about what you need, such as more flexibility. I transitioned from working full-time to staying at home. We both have 50/50 access to our bank account, so it was a little easier. I still feel guilty about not bringing in an income, but I’m glad I’m not overly restricted. Write down your talking points prior to your your discussion if it helps. Good luck!

Maybe you can find a side hustle or work from home to pay off the debt. But just tell him through text if you can’t in person

@Fay thank you so much! We never combined accounts just because we never got to it. He had his own account through a different bank that his parents had access to. That caused problems so he got a new account once we had our daughter. I did switch to his bank when we bought our house so that was before he got a new one. I used to support him through college when I graduated and started working full time but since quitting to be a SAHM I’m really struggling with not bringing in any money. I know he doesn’t care and he’s more than willing to send more but I know finances stress us out knowing he’s getting a pay cut, paying off his truck, and adding another baby

@Cecilia I actually applied for about 15 jobs this morning

I completely understand—life has its ups and downs, and sometimes it can feel overwhelming. Right now, you're stressed, and I know it can feel like your husband is, too. Finding a job can take time, sometimes months. One thing that might help in the meantime is doing a balance transfer to one of your husband’s credit cards to lower the interest rate while you both figure out a manageable repayment plan. But honestly, the first step is to have an open conversation. You might be surprised—he could be more understanding than you expect, and this weight might be lifted sooner than you think. Sending you lots of love and support.

To start, I would consider what u could return. Any subscription u can cancel or any other extras that can be put off or rescheduled. I wouldn’t cancel anything right off but just as a suggestion for the talk. As far as that convo goes I would try to keep it short and sweet! “Hey babe, I think u should know I may have gone a little overboard with Christmas shopping and credit cards lately n I was wondering ur opinion?” Then depending on what he says u talk it out n come up with a plan together. Stick to that plan 💯 Try not to be defensive and actually listen. Remember u have had time to think about this and known about it but he’s just finding out so he may need time to process or he may have thoughts right away. If it were me in his position hearing about it, I would prolly be a little irritated at first tbh. In the end he is the one working rn to provide n seems lk he’s there for y’all so if he’s willing to talk and move forward as a team then really what more could u ask?