Am I being unreasonable and controlling?

I’m back to work and my LO is at Childminders twice a week then one day with my Mum. And on the days he’s with Childminder my Mum has him for a 1.5 hours until my Husband is home. Really grateful and thankful for this help I know some people don’t get this. But I’m finding that my Mum is starting to let this get to her head in a way, she has been getting my sisters to look after him at times, and I’m not aware unless I ask. It’s not often or for long but enough to bother me. It’s starting to bother me that she is assuming it’s fine and not asking or telling me. I’m already really struggling with not seeing him and having less control on the days I work which she knows so to do that on top of how I’m feeling is annoying me and upsetting me. Am I being unreasonable and controlling by asking them to ask and telling me what’s happening? It’s not that I even mind my sisters watching him sometimes, it’s just the lack of care to tell me or ask me. He’s not a toy to pass round, he’s my son. I only found out about today because my sister said in I hope a jokey way “I won’t look after your son at 3:30” because I joked around that she was annoying me. Again this comment bothered me, joke or not, I just felt like using him as a bait is really mean and unfair on my feelings? Again am I being sensitive?

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I have said something now, I sent this to them, “Can people actually tell me what is happening with my son, I don’t like no knowing, I know he is safe and fine but it makes me sad that I don’t know where he is or who he is with sometimes, I’m really struggling not having any control when I’m working so please think about my feelings guys! Ps I’m not moaning just struggling with it at the moment! Xx” Is that mean or out of order?

I do feel bad having to say something, like I say I’m so grateful for the help, I just worry they are going to think I’m ungrateful and being rude xx

I don't think it's mean at all. You've explained why you want to know and that you're struggling. I would feel the same as you to be honest. I'm dreading going back to work for this reason

@Tasha thank you! That’s really nice to know. Just feel like I’m crazy sometimes 😳I actually prefer when he’s at the Childminders because I know what’s happening I always thought I’d prefer when my Mum has him, I hope when your back it’s a lot smoother and easier❤️

I’m struggling with being back at work and not knowing everything. I would be so upset and anxious too. Completely reasonable to want to know. I hope it gets easier for you. This is honestly the hardest part since he’s been born and it’s not spoken about enough. Xx

You have more than enough right as his mother to know exactly where your son is and who he’s with at all times. You’re not being unreasonable at all. Hope all gets better for you 🤞

I would feel exactly the same! I’m already having anxiety about the same thing when my mother in law has my little one every Friday from this week. It’s very hard handing over control. I think your message sounds fair and not at all ungrateful. I hope they take it well x

Thank you ladies, really appreciate it, they didn’t really say much to be honest , so I think if it happens again I will need to be a-bit more stirn xxx

I would lose my shit if I thought my son was somewhere and then found out he wasn't. Like i wouldn't mind if my mum took him somewhere and stayed with him but if he's no longer with the person i left him with, I would be MAD. Well done for keeping your cool! You are completely well within your right mind with this and I hope your family listens 🤍

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